Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Fathers & Sons Part 2

So the outlaws were in town an entire month and didn't bother to visit once. Oh wait... mom in law showed up for about half an hour four days before leaving town. Her friend drove her in because her husband just didn't feel like coming to visit his son!

How does that work? The guy drives 3 days to get here, drives past our town to go stay in the miserable little cottage about another hour away, but doesn't stop to visit his son. Dad out law is 86 years old give or take a year, and has numerous lung ailments. Mom out law has diabetes, a heart condition, ongoing gastric stuff and isn't much younger. They are living in a cottage with no telephone, ( no cell either), crappy tv reception, and no air conditioning. The humidity has been over 35 degrees C more often than not. It's hot, and sticky and miserable.

Our home has telephones, air conditioning and television with cable!
Mom out law comes by to visit and tells her son they will be leaving in four days. Son scrambles to go and visit out at the cottage. The rest of us all had plans that we were not happy about changing. We don't change our plans to stay for dinner. The people who own the cottage are rather taken aback by our short visit. It's none of their business.

As we arrive dad outlaw, as expected, gives son a tough time about NOT calling or coming for a visit. Son tries to reason and explain that they are the retired ones, we are the ones working and busy with kids and house stuff this summer. We can't reach them, and the one time we did take a drive, no one was around.

Dad outlaw starts the violin music and tells us he just didn't feel like going anywhere (except a wedding , except a flea market - twice- except to visit old boys, except except!!!) BUT... he couldn't visit his own son and grandchildren.

And I wonder why my spouse is as fucked up in the head as he is?!!
Some would say it's time to get over it. some would tell him to tell the ole man to take a hike. Some would ask why bother?? All thoughts and ideas worth pondering and questioning.

No doubt the spouse is too afraid to open that door and wonder why he won't answer the questions and do the pondering. Time with ole man is running out and nothing changes.

Ya see... it always comes back to your parents. Every single time. Psychology 101.