Close to Christmas. Now what?

I have no idea what he is planning for Christmas. The house is still a disaster... I have not been able to pull out all the holiday gear and dress up the house! Dress up? Geez I'd be happy if I could get at least some underwear on this place never mind the holiday wear. Sigh..

I've tried asking politely, I've tried nagging, I've tried being the business like managerial me... and he continues to move at the pace he choose to work at... which is pretty much not at all.

He did some volunteer carpentry work for his job. and so our stuff was put behind again. I still have a closet with no rod for coats, and the floor is building up a mountain of kid coats.

I am not feeling sorry for myself at all, just frustration. I love parties, I love having people over for dinner, and I can't. There is no where to put them in my construction zone of a living room.

I have a bunch of open houses and parties to go to, and I am not sure I even want to take him with me. He's turned into kind of a know-it-all, on every subject. He speaks with authority he doesn't have, he interrupts any one who disagrees with him, and frankly, it's just starting to become tiresome, and worse, embarrassing. He never used to be that way. The concept of cocktail party, where social chit chat and moving among people is not an idean he cares to follow. See #7 at the link! Standard operating procedure at a party!
http://www.ehow.com/how_9725_be-proper-guest.html

Last time we went out, he talked to one person, and every time the person tried to disengage, he didn't get it. I finally grabbed him by the arm and told him I wanted him to come meet some people.

After we got into the car he asked me why I "grabbed" him and "made" him talk to those boring, tiresome guys. I explained how the idea was to have a little food, keep a drink in hand and chat with many people about nothing too serious. Serious is not how these things work.

Well, it would appear that He got all offended and started sulking and he said he didn't want to follow the "cocktail rules" I mean really! So we ended up having a "discussion" on how to play the game. "I don't have to play the game... because I am me!" sigh.... So, I have decided I am not going to invite him to parties from my work, and my friends any longer. It's just too embarrassing.

And then I still went ahead and bought him a leather car coat for Christmas this year. I had to clue what to buy him. A friend bought her husband a leather coat, and so I though... yeah that's a pretty good idea. It was on sale. Seemed like a good idea!

We may end up with a friend or two over for the day. Said friend has asked me what my husband's problem is about his "know-it-all" issues. Christmas could be polite, or it could end up in a disaster... not sure what we'll do.

So... time to wrap the gifts, finishing the speciality Christmas foods, and hope the house isn't naked next week if a friend or two pops by!

WHO is Mort Fertel and where did he come from?! That and a reno revision!

I've just found Mort's web site. He's relatively new in the "save yr marriage" game. His emails are annoying at best, and at worst I'd call it spam!
http://www.marriagemax.com/mort-fertel.asp This is his site. All he seems to have on the go is his Boot Camp for those who get into counselling or what ever it is he is calling it and a whole lotta media attention!

Ok.. at first glance... it looks pretty good. But he sounds like a Divorce Busting guy run amok!
Remember DB? http://www.divorcebusting.com/

There really is nothing substantial on his site. Most of the other decent save yr relationship sites have their boards and buddy chats as well as any number of other ways of communicating AS WELL as their bag of tricks of books and tapes and other related paraphanalia!

So I tried to check out ole Mort and see what he was about. Tried emailing, calling, and even tried tracking down his office through a friend of mine in Baltimore... no go! Very very interesting.

On the DB side, Michele, we know, at least has some experience and what we would call TRAINING AND EDUCATION!!!! Mort has..... um... found a way to make money scamming desperate housewives and husbands into thinking that his rhetoric is gonna work.

So... if anyone actually ever reads these missives of mine.. I would LOVE to know if Mort is on a money making binge.. of if he actually knows what he is talking about.

I wish I'd kept some of his spam... fill of platitudes and the usual blah blah. 4 ways to relearn how to talk to your spouse... 7 ways to really get to know each other again... I roll my eyes!!! There's something about the guy... I mean really - can you trust a guy named "Mort?" OK... maybe that's not quite fair... but if he was Dr.Mort would I like him any better? He just ain't no Dr. Phil!

I don't see any psychology degress, no social work, or counselling certificates..NOTHING that says he actually knows what he is talking about.


Renovation update.

The She-Eldon is still coming around. I leave the house. I really can't be bothered talking to her. I really need to tell the spousal unit that I will paint. I actually enjoy painting. I have no ability to draw or create - except scrapbook pages http://www.creativememories.com/ but painting for me is like using Crayola crayons.. Then there is the whole dip, slap and slide the brush around thing.... ok... back on track girl!

still don't have a living room or a dining room and it's what?... 21 days to Christmas... so much for parties or having friends over... where?

My latest whine, - he took the front hall closet apart - okay it does need painting... but in the mean time, we don't have ANYWHERE to hang our winter coats, and put our winter shoes, hats, mitts etc. Remember it's CANADA and it's WINTER! I asked him how long it would take to get the closet finished....after about two weeks of nothing. This would appear to be a simple question yes? I got a song and dance about no time... weekends are short...

In my silliness I suggested perhaps an advance schedule of setting aside all other projects and pushing forward on getting the closet done first. I was given the 32 reasons why this couldn't happen: Stairs need to be stained and varnished, She-Eldon coming to paint trim, windows need fixing, and Christmas lights on house need replacing... (did I mention that the lights stay up year 'round?!) So... I suggested... perhaps all these projects except Christmas lights could go temporarily on hold so we could get our closet back???? And the answer was I didn't understand.

Well Wife Warrior went ... the term might be super-bitch mode. While I did my level best to keep my voice at an even tone I suggested that as a manager my own project management techniques were superiour, that we had to have a project plan, that the budget was non existent, and that if he had been a contractor that I had hired, I would have fired him about 7 months earlier! And would he like me to PULEEEESE take over the remainder of the project management so things would get DONE in an effing timely fashion. Apparently, according to him who is a superior decorator and doer, that concept would never fly.

I hafta say, the guy is a good carpenter, he is meticulous, and takes pride in his work, but as I've learned from Fly-Lady, his need for perfection is seriously holding him back.
I can't even get Mike Holmes in, http://www.hgtv.ca/HOH/meetmike_howto.asp because the work is good.. it's just taking for effing ever to get done! Is he HOT or what???
Mike... I bet you don't keep your wife waiting for her renos baby!