Busy. Busier. Busiest.

The grass in the yard was starting to look pretty white trashy and the SU finally getting around mowing the lawn. I didn't think the lawn mower was going to start given that this has been the third year in a row that he's left it outside exposed to the winter elements. I've tried using the thing myself but it's pretty temperamental and won't work for me. I don't get it. When he leaves I am going to get a push mower instead of something powered and happily mow that way, unless I pay someone which seems to make a whole lot more sense to me. I am not a great outdoorsy gardening person and would rather do something else. I keep thinking about the whole condo thing but I am not ready for that either.

Rebel has been taking my car a lot - most days I don't mind. Sunday I had forgotten I was going to a friend's for dinner and Rebel had the car. SU asked me if I wanted to use his car, so, what the heck... I took it. Don't like to, but did so anyway. He was busy doing something in the garage- didn't look anything like cleaning up to me so not sure what else is going on in there.

Also deadline for the car switch is coming with the registration due at the end of the month, however I reiterated again that no signed agreement no switch. I am dealing with same issue with the mortgage. The bank has been good about not making us sign another mortgage and letting me go month to month - highly unusual.

I met a women at said friend's dinner last evening whose husband used "the Barracuda" as his lawyer. I could see the anger in her eyes when I mentioned who my lawyer was. Clearly her reputation is well deserved.

I've got a ton of stuff going on this week, a volunteer project at my church and stuff to do for my annual conference which is at the end of the week. I may be even more sporadic than usual in my writings this week.

But never fear.... I have not disappeared just had to leave for a short time.
Thanks for reading.

Happy Birthday, Marie! {see wordless below}

Wordless Wednesday.

Siblings Seriously Shell-Shock Spouse.

For whatever her thinking the RebelJunior doesn't like the second hand cell I picked up for her after cell #3, or was it #4? died on her. After swapping phone with friends, sharing, losing and breaking this is where I decided to end the cell phone follies.

She refuses to use the little K-razr or whatever it is I picked up for her. She thinks she can do better with another phone with another contract from dear ole Disneyland Dad who has been sucked into her rationale. Because she won't use the phone she's been given, she asked her sister to borrow her phone to send some texts.

Of course Rebel refused because she has been aware of the nonsense with the phones from the start of the cell saga. Much affronted RJ told her father, the SU, who then attempted to intervene on her behalf with Rebel. That didn't go well. Given any amount of resentment Rebel already has towards her sister, their father and all things financial, she told her dad in no uncertain terms she was not going to share her phone.

Unfortunately SU chose this as a big deal issue. He started in on sharing and how he shared his car with her and he would say no "next time." And Rebel let him have it. The way she has been known to let me have it. Full force foul language and loud voice.

I heard about all this when I returned home from running errands. SU was quite taken aback by it all. "She wouldn't share," he said "I always share everything, and she wouldn't do this one thing."

I had no idea where to start on this one. "And you're surprised by this because...?" I asked. Again he went on his sharing jag. I think he was more surprised by Rebel's attack and the fact that she let him have it both barrels. It probably was not the right thing for her to do, however this was probably a case of the straw breaking the proverbial camel's back.

With both girls hanging around and within ear shot all I could say at that point was,
"Share? You share what? Your time? Your values? What is that you share? All they see is you share your money. That's it. And this is where it has led. What else could you expect? You haven't really shared much else if truth be told."

The man was still walking around shell shocked a day later.

Thursday Thirteen.

13 long weekend things this weekend

1.pedicure
2.nail fill
3.back yard - rake up - only if it doesn't rain
4.buy the bedding flowers from the annual church flower sale
5. plant said flowers - only if it isn't raining
6. clear the clutter corner again ( sigh) perfect timing see 3 and 5 above.
7. brunch with friends on Monday
8. meeting with Exec Director on Treasurer's speech for conference plus BEvERages and brunch.
9. winter clothes sort out
10. hair appointment
11. 6 library books sitting by the bedside
12. conference programme organization - send info to speakers.
13. two bottles of wine in the fridge plus 4 wine coolers.

Wordless Wednesday.

Volleying.

Got through yesterday's mediation session without smacking the SU. There are things that he will never understand or make sense of.

First he didn't understand the difference between making an offer on a house and a close date when the money has to change hands. The Barracuda was adamant that he be on his way out of the house. "But where am I supposed to live if I have to be out and I don't have a place yet?"

"umm really? NOT my problem." He was taken aback by that. Did he really think I'd invite him to stay as long as necessary?

We volleyed back and forth on some expense stuff and at one point he said well if Rebel and RJ know how we're managing the money ..... at which point I interrupted and said Rebel and RJ do not need to know the details of this business arrangement. It's NOT their concern or their business how finances are set up to look after their needs. They stay out of it. The mediator, surprisingly agreed. Whether or not SU abides by this is another question.

So given that the 30 day period is going to be nearly there anyway, I agreed to final move out of July 15th. I'll be away for that week so I won't have to worry about what he is up to.

Oddly he's buying the strangest things. I've found hidden (or not so hidden away) so far - a crock pot, two sets of drinking glasses and a set of glass mixing bowls of all things. I am trying to decide what to do about his lawn mower. I think I'll tell him to take it as it is pretty cumbersome. I should be able to get something a little easier to use than what he had. Never mind that it sits outside in the snow every winter and will probably die soon for lack of proper care.

Rebel tried again to tell me she *needed* my car today because she promised some friend of hers that she'd take her and her kids for dental surgery. I had a number of meetings today where I needed to use my car so this wasn't on. Once again she was furious - without just cause - I had to walk away from her torrent of blah blah blah.

SU has STILL not told his family about the impending separation and divorce. Very very odd behaviour.

CAReening. Control. Completion.

Rebel Junior celebrated her 16th birthday last week. Rebel the older passed her driver's test so celebrations abounded around the Spousal Ennuie abode.

I caught RJ and her friends with a bottle of vodka being immersed into the freezies.. or being mixed with energy drinks - NOT a good thing.

She was not happy that I was hanging around. As per usual - SU didn't seem to want to interfere. The kids all slept over - didn't want to go home intoxicated I believe. RJ was completely ticked that I "DARED" to say anything to any of the kids. I told her after the fact... NEVER again.

She also skipped class on her birthday. In her father's school. That's chutzpah. SU took away the laptop and told her it was gone for a month. But that doesn't mean her time on the household computer is limited. Not sure what else he intends to do about this.

Rebel took my car on Friday during the day - I allowed that. When I got home from work she wasn't around. She took my car to the BF's new place for a sleep over. I was NOT happy. SU said he needed his car early Saturday morning so he suggested she take mine. She didn't call and ask permission first. I told SU he doesn't have the right to allow either daughter to do anything without checking with me first - particularly the use of my vehicle. She didn't show up at home til mid afternoon Saturday and I ended up not getting any of my errands done because of this. I told her no car this week. At all. Rebel is now back in full force and had a few choice words for me. I told her she had a lot of nerve trying to pin her use of my car as an entitlement issue as it certainly wasn't one. She was not happy. WhatEvEr!

Consequently, Mother's Day was a pretty standard day around the house. Girls continued to not do much except give me a card after supper. SU, I don't think, even bothered trying to talk to his mother who is in a long term care facility.

Today is mediation day again. I will be hashing out the issues the Barracuda raised a couple of weeks ago and hope it can get finalized to the satisfaction of both our lawyers. I am tired enough of the too-ing and fro-ing that I want it done. Finished. Complete.

Wordless Wednesday.

Driving Ms. Marie.

Rebel passed her driving test today and is now driving my car who knows where. Apparently I will be chauffeured to work the next few days. I guess I can stand this. It is about time.

Rebel Junior turns 16 this week and tells me she is planning to get her Learner's Permit too. oy! both of them!

I have to get Rebel added to my insurance ASAP. I believe from what I've observed she's a careful driver - it's the other idiots on the road though that bare watching.

I got a legal bill yesterday. Nearly $700 for reviewing the separation agreement, talking to me about it, and sending a letter to the SU's suit and the mediator noting her concerns. What a business.

Haven't even got to the mediator's bill yet for writing the thing. What kills me is more than half of what the mediator pulls together is all boiler plate stuff with the names changed and put through the standard practice stuff. Very little is actually unique material.

And talking about money. The fund raiser that Rebel and I attended at 7:30 AM last week for the Heart Institute? It raised nearly $700,000 !!!! and counting. Impressive eh?

Marie Muses Midst Marriage Mediations.

Who knows what is going on with our internet access. RJ waited until Sunday evening to do homework - something which was already late and for which she had an extension. And guess what - our internet was not working. Again. I told her I was not going to sit on the help line phone with our ISP to figure it out especially since SU has a bad habit of talking at me at the same time as the help guy on the other end of the phone. So I dialed the number got to the help guy handed over the phone and went to bed. I don't know how it turned out yet. Stayed tuned, I may get the picture this evening. Thank goodness I share the keys to this castle!

SU came up to me while I was reading the paper on Saturday morning asking to do the car registration switch. This has come up before on the blog somewhere. The registration expires on May 23rd this year. Once again I informed him - "You decided to get lawyers involved in what's left of our relationship and so because I now have a lawyer that I have to pay who tells me how to deal with your needs, I have been advised not to sign anything or agree to anything until there is a signed legal agreement. Do we have such a thing? No we do not. So take your car registration papers, put them away until such time as the Barracuda okays the sign off and exchange." I turned my nose back to my paper and continued reading the Arts pages.

He was not a happy man. But when has he ever been happy?

Rebel is nearly back full force. While I tend to get frustrated and seriously annoyed - I shut up and go back 18 months. We are having conversations though about my expectations.

I have been seeing people and having conversations about separations and divorces. Ran into a guy at work - been married 30 years - caught his wife in an affair. He used the same mediator I did. He has a daughter getting married this summer. We commiserated. He has a full head of hair and is seriously a sweet guy. Three of the scrap booking girls - all used the same mediator. No wonder this woman is so booked up. Way too much mediation going on. Better than court dates I suppose.

I don't go back to see the mediator until next Monday for what I hope will be the final session based on Barracuda's requests for me. Hope we can get it done and it doesn't come back. As it is - I already have another lawyer's bill for two hours of time. What a business this is.

My church is putting together a family photo directory this June. I haven't decided if SU will be in it or not. The girls want to get matching dresses. ( odd... but okay... probably different colours) I am not keen on him being there especially since he never did come to church with me. He is the girls' dad though. I will think on this one and see what the girls want to do. It might just be a mom and daughters thing.