Wordless Wednesday

"it's a mission!"

Rebel is doing all right. The surgery incision is healing. We see her arrhythmia docs in two week . She is eating a lot finally. She lost so much because of the fluid retention that none of her own clothes fit. She is wearing her sister's clothes. But only those clothes that little sister deems suitable for her big sister. Rebel and I spent two hours at the grocery store on Sunday reading labels and finding food she wanted and could eat. When you start reading labels and see the outrageous amount of sodium in foods. OY!

As the Rebel says... "it's a mission!"

The two girls were in a battle royal this weekend too. The SU doesn't help matters. Rebel Tweeny continues to find ways around the locked doors - leave it open for two minutes and she is in there.. She takes Rebel's jewelry, and other things, uses them, wears them, gets caught and lies. And the thing is- she is a lousy thief and even worse liar. She gets caught every time! Rebel becomes furious - her temper has strengthened! It's frustrating. SU takes the RT's side. Until Sunday morning. RT managed to use *his* hair brush* and *his razor.* SU came storming up the stairs asking us where the hell his stuff was. Rebel and I barely gave him the time of day as he was sputtering and looking for things.

Of course, he put a lock on RT's door and couldn't get in to see if she had his stuff because Rebel and I did not! It was amusing. Rebel gave him a piece of her mind too. Telling him that perhaps he might now understand at least a little bit the frustration she feels when her stuff goes missing because of sticky fingers.

It's quite sad. Most or Rebel's friends who are around our family can see how SU is playing favourites with his daughters. It's really sad. He is the one driving the wedge between the two sisters. Rebel sees it. RT doesn't.... yet. It will be a sad day for SU when RT realizes how his attitude affected her relationship with her big sister. He will pay for it I hope. He should.

Shame on him.

In the meantime, I am going to have a visit with my counsellor and see if I can do anything to mitigate this- short of leaving the house now with at least one kid in tow. Not an optimum solution yet. He locked himself up in his room most of the weekend.

Shame on him.

Friday File.

INTERESTING STUDY:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is in the middle of her cycle or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are planned at this time.

{Not So} Wordless Wednesday

Unshelved By Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum

Positives for Today.

Rebel had a defibrillator inserted yesterday. The device regulates her heart beat and will help with her heart arrhythmia's.
After two false starts, and more than a couple of long days at the Heart Institute the procedure is over. It's done using a local anaesthetic. Rebel was hoping they'd let her watch things unfold but the docs wouldn't allow it - who knows why. They covered her face with a sheet which was a conversation stopper. She had a couple of rough moments during the procedure - hyperventilating. But the nurses got her talked down and got her through the rest of the ordeal.

As usual, her tricky veins caused the docs in the operating room a bit of a slow start. She warns people all the time, and they all say "yeah yeah" and then realize that yes... her veins are small and run away as they try and stick her.

She had a couple of moments when she started feeling things- that surprised them, so she had to get topped up on the drugs.

The device is almost the size of a stop watch and is sitting right above her heart on the left side. You can feel it through her skin. Her doctor, a Scottish lad here to learn before heading back across the pond, was quite proud of his work and believes she'll be ready to go home on Tuesday or Wednesday after an x-ray review.

As of last night Rebel was on bed rest to allow the leads on the device to attach properly on her heart.She was not impressed with the whole bed pan idea because of this. But she is getting through that yuckiness.

It was a little harder to get through then she expected because she has had surgery before - but on her knee- It took a bit out of her. The post procedure reports are all positive and that's a good day! Thanks everyone for your prayers and thoughts.

Where has SU been through this??

Well..

isn't that another full post.

Wordless Wednesday

In Abeyance.

We had a pretty quiet weekend. Not a lot went on at the hospital given it was the weekend. I expect things will gear up this week. The defibrillator residents came in to see Rebel again. She does NOT like these two guys who seem to come together joined at the hip. Her own cardiologist told Rebel to tell the arrhythmia the head doc - that she didn't like his residents. When the residents asked her why she changed her mind about having the defib inserted she told them point blank that her own doctor did a much better job of explaining what it was and why she needed it and frankly she was choosing to talk ONLY to the guy who knew what he was talking about please and thank you! When she was telling me she said there was a nurse in the room who had to keep from laughing out loud. Apparently, these guys are not used to patients telling them that their manner is less than stellar with patients, particularly young patients who do not have patience themselves in processing all this information she's being given.

Her cardiologist, the head of transplants and heart failure for the Institute happened to be in to see Rebel as a nurse was trying to take blood. She was having a hard time, so Rebel challenged her doc to do it. It was pretty funny because, the guy might do heart transplants, he might hold beating hearts in his hands, but taking blood.... he was nervous! He gamely decided to go for it when Rebel told him he should do it! Rebel has tricky thin veins and after a stay at the hospital, her arms always look like she has heroin tracks. So Doctor Director - Respected-Cardiologist snapped on the gloves, got the butterfly needle and as Rebel was watching him, he kind of snapped "don't look at me while I do this please!" Nervous guy! However, he managed to keep his dignity intact and got the needle into the vein on his first try. This little story had the nurses in stitches for the rest of the evening and most of the weekend! He walked out of her room with a cute little smile on his face.

On the spousal ennuie front. I received a letter from the She-Barracuda telling me my file was "in abeyance" until mediation was settled. I had to roll my eyes. We send emails back and forth when we need to talk and all my files are electronic which is good. Then she hit me with this formal pdf file. Abeyance is defined as "temporarily suspended action.".. so why not just say... "I'll put your file on hold til the mediation thing works out." Lawyers... why use a simple word when four four syllable words can be thrown in instead.

As for that I am "in abeyance" myself until Rebel is a little more stabilized. AS IF I have any desire to mediate while the kid is sitting in a hospital bed.

How the SU is dealing and processing all this - I really don't know. He continues to hide in his space, and as far as I aware, not talk to anyone. How sad really.

And for all who ask, I really am okay. I seem to have put on some thigh weight... according to the tightness of the winter suits I've started wearing... so to help the stress and the thighs, I am back to walking the treadmill and riding the bike to nowhere at the gym. While a planned short vacay has had to be put "in abeyance" my dear friends have been ensuring I either: get out and drink, stay in and drink, or find other worthy pursuits to keep my sanity and health. And I love them all.

Our Girl.

It sure sounds like the docs are getting Rebel ready for heart transplant surgery She's now in the Heart Institute and they've started by taking about 12 vials of blood from her and doing a bunch of other tests after the weekend. The cardiologist put her into the hospital on Friday because he figured if she was in a bed they could start on Monday and he could observe her over the weekend.

We've met with the Heart Transplant Coordinator.. Rebel's attitude is... there are gazillion people in the world, there will be a heart for me. I will be fine. No fear. She was pissed because has had made plans to go out on Friday evening for a friend's birthday and had to cancel. Her boyfriend is a mess... he's freaked out. Went out on Friday and got drunk when he was supposed to bring Rebel some supper at the hospital. I was ready to smack him myself but the Rebel did a great job of making him feel like a shit. Gotta like that in a daughter.

Thirteen on Thursday

13 ways to say mediate.

1. interpose
2. intrude
3. intervention
4. interruption
5. intercede
6. interface
7. get in the middle
8. facilitate
9. negotiate
10. meddle
11. moderate
12. barge in
13. butt in

and none of them say *legal* or *lawyer*
In fact, some say *chartered accountant,* *certified professional mediator,* or * trained negotiator*

but nothing says LAWYER!

Wordless Wednesday

Postive Attitude In Spite of It All.

Rebel had a follow up today with her cardiologist. Her ultrasound test from last week has not shown any improvement in her heart function. And her heart valves are still "pretty leaky" - I guess that is technical term used by said cardiologist. But it is descriptive.

Her belly fluid has increased again because of this. The doctor has changed her diuretics medicine to see if things can't move through her system a little better.

Rebel will be outfitted with a portable defibrillator. It's a device similar to a pacemaker and will help her heart beat and control the arrhythmia. Her doc is concerned that with her function and the heart rate speeding up - things could could become severe. He wants to mitigate this.

He is also starting to talk about "work up" for heart transplant because of the lack of improvements. We shall see how things progress.

Rebel is doing all right. Positive attitude. She is doing what she is told. Her doctor is very good. He is very straight with her, but also speaks to her without scaring her and giving her the information she needs to be able to process it and figure out how best she needs to take care of herself.

That's a lot for any 19 year old young woman isn't it?

"Thanksgiving To Me"

What a time of the year to say "Thanks to Him!"
Thanks to those wonderful Friends.
Thanks to those lives that touched ours in the past,
But have had to leave us and are now "Home at Last".

We could say Thank you a million times you see,
But never could we reach that goal,
Set by our Savior that day on Mt. Calvary
Worth more to us today than silver or gold.

Thanksgiving time is a time to profess,
To loved ones and friends.
Get it all right, bury the past,
Learn that Love and Understanding endures to the end.

Say kind words of happiness and cheer.
Make this a habit, hey, all through the year.
Praise God each day of your life.

Your Father and Mother, give them a hug, remember them.
Your Children, my what a gift!
Friends are precious, so don't shrug.
Tell them you Love them, pass on the gifts.

Now, as you gather Thanksgiving Day,
Give Thanks and Praise to our Father.
And Peace! Be to all.

~ Janis Latimer

Смачного!

Thankful for All I Have.

I took Friday off and with a friend visiting from out west we went into the hills on the Quebec side and enjoyed a gloriously warm fall day. Too freaky warm frankly. But I got some great pictures, some will show up here no doubt.

Monday is Thanksgiving Day - a long weekend. By taking Friday off it gave me a four day weekend - which is luxurious.

The SU has been busying himself in the kitchen. While a man who cooks is wonderful and in some cases can even be considered a great act of foreplay, this one, goes about it in an attitudinal way that is beyond annoying. For some reason he decided that he could do a better turkey dinner than me, and took it upon himself year or two ago to just take over. I think he thought I was going to get upset, but frankly, why would I? I love turkey dinner, but let's face it, between making stuffing, cleaning the damn bird, gravy making, cranberry sauce from scratch, etc etc - it's a two day kitchen event.

I have ceramic floors, I need to wear my heavy duty aerobic shoes for that event or my legs and back are crying by the end of it... even with all the wine consumed while preparing. Sure, go ahead and do all the work. I really do NOT mind. It's the gloating about how delicious *his* dinner is that makes me roll my eyes. The sad part is the SU is looking for affirmation, but I don't know who he expects to get it from. Me? as if.

I am going hot and cold on - keep the house, give him the house. I really am not sure what I want to do. I am thinking the financial specialist I have - (I specialize in divorce and finances says her tag line) will be able to help me get a handle on this. In the mean time I am adding up the list of the 40 or so things that need fixing around here and am going to get one of those handy man places to give me an estimate on what labour and costs might be. That's not even counting the big expensive things like new windows in EVERY room in the house, new siding and insulation as well as new rec room in the basement. It will add up.

Rebel not doing too badly, but it appears the fluid is building up again. It's a tad disheartening for her. We will see what her doc says next week.

I intend to enjoy the rest of my weekend.

And be thankful for all I do have.

Thirteen on Thursday.

13 things SU has bought for RT - before taxes
Conservative estimates based on dinner time conversation with Rebel!

1. digital camera $600
2. pair of shoes $120
3. five tops $150
4. two pairs jeans $120
5. earrings $15
6. two sweaters $75
7. three binders $30
8. knapsack $30
9. socks $10
10. memory card for the camera $45
11. lunch money -but I make lunches $45
12. books $40
13. cash any time she asks $200

Disneyland Dad Grand Total: in three months: $1330

Amount spent on Rebel - mostly to help with her bills - $350

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday Tribulations

Miss Rebel has a new front tooth. She is happy it's fixed and has her beautiful smile back. I think she's going through a depression though. She was cranky as hell yesterday and being miserable to everyone. I don't doubt that she has these moments. She told me that she can't remember what it feels like to feel good any more. I so feel for her, and there's not a lot I can do. I'd like her to see Trish again, but Trish wants her to ask for herself rather than have me make the calls, and I agree.

Rebel and RebelTweeny were close to killing each other last night. The sniping and to-ing and fro-ing between them was driving me insane. No doubt there is the normal sibling rivalry however Rebel's illness, RT's hormonal wackiness of normal teen growth is not being helped by the spousal ennuie and strife, and the normal stuff between sisters has escalated beyond normal in my opinion.

The SU didn't do anyone favours this summer by buying a new $600 camera for RT. That is the root of the current resentments. Rebel tried adding up the amount of money the SU has spent on RT it's a stupid amount of money And Rebel doesn't see any fairness and she is taking it out on the wrong person.

RT made a simple comment last night to Rebel. Rebel started lashing out and it led to a screaming match between the two that went to new heights. Rebel should have known better being the older sibling and an adult. Her behaviour was childish. RT is in that state where it's supposed to be all about her in her age 14-ness. However we are not in a normal state around here for any number of reasons. It's the resentment the older one feels towards the younger one because of her perception that her father is playing favourites. The younger one isn't appreciating her sister's situation, her fears, her depression and all that goes with a serious medical condition because she doesn't "look" sick, really. Mix in the fact that father refuse to communicate with mom on any level and hides in his lair... what are these kids to think?

This is going to take a whole lot of work to fix. A whole lot of work. And the SU - if he realizes what he's created here - isn't acknowledging a thing.

Monday Musing

A pretty quiet weekend this weekend. I have to assume that SU signed off the mortgage documents. I haven't heard from the bank yet and figure he doesn't want to go into arrears and ruin his credit rating so his Shark should have counselled him to sign off and shut up.

I told my She-Barracuda that all arrangements for meetings with the mediator can be set up by the SU. He can organize by giving me date and time options for this thing to get started. I don't need to be organizing him for this little party. I have enough to do in my life.

SU took Tweeny shopping for clothes... again. Rebel is feeling very slighted. And hurt. SU has been paying her phone bill and VISA debt so I guess he feels that's enough. It's not even a start.

I am thinking as part of the mediation exercise I am going to try and insist on family counselling to deal with these things. Even Rebel's boyfriend is noticing the division within the family. He says it looks like RT and SU are pitted against me and Rebel. I don't like this, and I am doing what I can, but SU doesn't seem to care that he is driving a wedge between his daughters or demonstrating his contemptuous attitude towards me and it's filtering to the RT. It's not good. He will HATE the idea of counselling and won't want to go, but this is NOT about him. It's about the girls and their need to understand their role in the family and our role as their parents. SU could use a little of this as well.

I attend a big to-do church function yesterday. Because of my role on Parish Council, I was seated with the all the big cheese priests. I met the new guy in town who is taking on a bunch of roles - one in particular with the Canon Law Tribunal. He is the lead for the marriage tribunal and is the go-to guy for those seeking annulments post divorce. I told him my situation and explained that I would probably be interested in an annulment post divorce. NOT that I think I would ever want to get married again ( rolls eyes) but really... the annulment would close the door for me and brings things to a natural conclusion.
This priest was good. He knows the rules etc, and frankly it doesn't hurt to have one of these guys in your court when going for the final event. He told me they like to wait at least a year post divorce being starting the paperwork on annulments. I have several friends who've been through this and it's a pretty intense process. These guys don't cut a lot of slack and it's not a rubber stamping process by any means.

I have to take Rebel to the dentist today to get her chipped tooth fixed. She has to take a whack of antibiotics as a preventative measure against infection before any dental work. AS per the instructions of her cardiologist. MORE drugs! But she doesn't care. She says she's tired of looking like a trailer trash blonde!

Tuesday, we head to the Heart Institute for a heart ultrasound to see how she is progressing.

I have Friday off this week as we are heading into the Thanksgiving weekend already. Turkey time.