So what is the deal with sex anyway!

So here's the thing. Once the husband started coming out of his "fog" and I had been through a year of therapy, I learned that one of HIS big deals was his frequent need for sex. Never got enough as far as he was concerned.

After about nine months or so.. of NOTHING... remember he was "in love" with the young one at work. - one morning, July 4th actually - we had our version of FIREWORKS... and thereafter I tried not to say no a lot. But recently, and this after about two years of not saying no, I find I am bored with ...how shall I put it... his lack of "style," his lack of creativity, his interest in his own needs. To the point that when he says it's for me... I don't think it is... I mean really - WHEN do men learn that a vagina is not a penis?

When he sticks his hand between my legs at 6:15 in the morning, or at 11:00 pm on a Tuesday night and rubs HARD why hasn't he figured out it ain't gonna work??? Unlike Mr Penis, who springs to action at a mere feel of a hand... any hand... my little "sweet spot" only comes to life when I have a good feeling in my head. Foreplay is not a hand down the pants or hard squeeze of a nipple! It's a head game for me...

I believe that most of us working women with tough jobs are thinking the following as we wake up at 6:15 am... " already???... I gotta pee... is there cheese for Joey's lunch? Jane needs a ride to school, .....is my blue skirt clean? Damn did I get the pantihose,,, man I gotta pee.. hit the snooze button now... I hate that stupid Jan Arden song... "Why don't you love me." .. GEEEZ... I gotta pee... "

AM I right girls???
And then I get THE HAND in between the legs... rubbing like it's gonna help!
Now here's the dilemma... cripes... sex and a fast shower and I'll only be 20 minuntes behind schedule... any meetings this morning? Or is it - quick ! get out of bed and hop into the shower because the days of him joining you in the shower ended with the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" speech?

Mention to the middle aged man who believes his techniques rival any movie idol, that perhaps he needs to shift gears a little and get the wife in the mood with a little foreplay... like cleaning the bathroom, or a kiss hello or good bye as he walks out the door, and one would think that you had asked him about the formula for nuclear fusion.

I get "the pout" or the "big sigh" and he turns his back to me.
Please don't suggest a book or a counsellor.... this is a man who thinks he gets it. I mean he used to be a pretty good kisser, now... I think he thinks that "making love" is something a man learns from watching that big fat ugly porn guy - Ron Jeremy. We ALL want to do it in 30 positions in 30 minutes - 20 of then involve going down on the guy! Like that's a turn on... Intimacy... that's what missing here. This I know in his case is directly tied to how he was raised.
And that will be the NEXT topic. Crazy in laws intimacy and a father who doesn't grace his sons or tell them he's a proud dad!