Today is my 23rd wedding anniversary. The spouse arrived home from his trip to visit the old folks and was pretty much his usual uncommunicative self with the exception that he had his brother in tow and had to do the usual self aggrandizement thing... so no celebration ( as if) not even an acknowledgement... no surprise... and this is what it has come to.
I think back to our wedding day oh so long ago when he promised "to love her forever" and see the man he's become... and wonder where and how it went wrong. I looked at our wedding pictures and saw how happy we were and how much promise we had.. and what we wanted from our lives... and this is what it has come to.
We did have good times, and many of my friends ask me "what was he like? why were you attracted to him? You're so not like him at all... " I too ask myself the same thing. We used to have a lot of fun together... going to movies, eating out, taking in theatre and having fun with the kids. But he stopped being involved. He wouldn't participate.
He came home this afternoon with a new bottle of scotch and 12 imported beers... brother in law had two beers, the spouse managed to down two beers that I saw plus 1/3 of the scotch is gone. I don't know what he's thinking or why he is believing his life sucks. He doesn't realize how lucky he is. A couple of kids who love him in spite of his morosely negative behaviour, a wife who worked her mind and ass off trying to keep it together, a roof over his head that he doesn't have any pride in, as well his health and a job... what more is there to life that really matters? Clearly for him... something. Too bad... really... too bad. It's his loss and his challenge. I have already made the decision not to shoulder it any longer.. It's an anniversary all right... not so happy.
Learning to Drive a Whole New Way
1 year ago
3 comments:
They usually don't see how good they have it until its too late.
Are you sad about his lack of acknowledgment?
*hugs*
actually I am not sad... perhaps nostalgic...
Frankly I would be uncomfortable and feel that he was hypocritical in wishing us a happy anniversary.
It's just sad what it has come to. I believe I am past feeling sad. A bit of a difference eh
thanks for visiting skup girl!
I absolutely agree in regards to being hypocritical if he were to actually wish you a happy anniversary when the relationship is anything but happy.
It is very sad to consider what it has all come to. When you have to break it down, it is the severe lack of committment of one person to put what it takes into sustaining a happy marriage.
*hugs*
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