One More Nail.

I decided that when I get to the mediation session - still an entire month away I had better have somewhere to go afterwards to decompress. I fully expect the SU to give me grief or do or say things that will make me completely crazy. Keeping that in check - volatile, emotional being that I am - will not be fun. So I asked a friend if she'd let me come over afterwards to vent and sit for a bit before heading home.

She not only agreed but she is insisting on a couple of coaching sessions before hand so I will know what to expect. She's been through this and knows how mediation works so we will role play. She is also going to walk me through her own separation agreement and explain to me what was what.

That's what friends are for. I believe this will be most beneficial so I will not only be well armed with information, I'll be well briefed and tutored into how to get through the first ordeal. The mediator says that sometimes when things are on a roll, the session can go for three to four hours to get through most of the issues. Having been involved in labour negotations I can just imagine how this will work.

I was a busy scrapbooking crafter this weekend. Thoroughly enjoyed my time with the 20 other women of all ages who were getting photo albums together. For me, it's therapy. Especially the part where I chop heads off pictures!

The younger daughter told me what her plans were for the weekend before I took off. She was going to a friend's over night and then to a soccer tournament at one of the universities on Sunday and then home. We got this nailed down before I left home Saturday afternoon.

When on Sunday afternoon around 3-ish I hadn't heard from her - I started phoning her cell. The cell I pay for her. She wasn't answering my calls or texts. I was not a pleased parent. So of course, I figure may as well ask the other parental unit what plans he made with her. I know, I know, WHY did I waste my time. Of course dear readers, you know how well that turned out.

He parroted back to me the same plan she told me.

"Yes, SU, I know the plan, however what are her time frames. What boundaries did you put in place as you dropped her off?"

" Boundaries" he says. " she'll call me when she's ready to come home! - Don't you trust her?"

"Of course I don't trust her, she's 15 years old and thinks she's smarter than I am in! She needs to understand that there are rules. SHe needs to know we have expectations that need to be met and she also needs to be very clear that I pay for the cell, I expect it to be picked up when I call. The cell is for MY convenience - not hers." As I speak I think in my head for the upteenthe time - Would you please act like a father and parent instead of a chauffer and banker!?!?!?

And so finally three hours later I get the phone call I've been wanting.
Said daughter ends up needing a ride home because she wasn't keeping track of the bus schedules. And none of the other kids' parents that she is with step up to pick these kids up either. She arrived home after 10 PM - and .... home work is incomplete. She started homework at 10:30 PM - Sunday night and the other parental unit ( PU - better ring to it than SU doncha think?) doesn't seem to have a problem with this.

Of course said daughter doesn't get to bed til after midnight, and it follows quite logically that she didn't get her self out of bed til 10 minutes before it was time to leave in the morning today. And who is she trying to rush out of the bathroom because of her own bad time management skills?

In my next house I will have my own private bathroom. I am pretty much done with sharing bathrooms with my girls. But that's a post for another day.

As for PU.... one more nail in the bad parenting coffin files.