All is Well.

Rebel did really well this time with the wisdom teeth. A completely different and better experience that is for sure. She was alert and even more than alert this time. She's now in her room eating Jell-o chocolate pudding and Lipton soup and watching a movie - How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
She has the predictable swelling but none of the weird stuff that went on last year. A big change.

I will be leaving first thing in the morning for my annual scrap and spa. I already had an SOS from the girls... "bring a corkscrew and bottle opener please!" I will of course, rescue them as required.

SU will be at home this weekend at least. He said I should go this evening because he isn't playing hockey. But I didn't sleep well last night, and had a bit of a panic attack bringing Rebel home this evening. That was disconcerting. But I am all right. We also had a flash freeze on the roads this evening - going from a high today of nearly 40F plus a whole lot of rain and it dropped to about 14F in less than 2 hours so there was some serious ice everywhere. I don't particularly want to drive through that though the road reports look good - I don't want to take the chance of a patch of black ice along the way.

I am certain Rebel will be fine. Thanks to all for your thoughts and prayers as always

I will now be gone to chop heads off pictures. heh heh heh

13 on Thursday

1. Lent has started. I gave up alcohol - and doing something a little different... need to get to the gym during Lent - to deal with the stress levels of work and upcoming changes at home. I think this is a positive way of looking at things and the 40 day period will get me back into the habit. Alcohol free during scrap and spa weekend. NOT a smart move, and St Patty's too.... .05 alcohol beer I guess.

2. Rebel gets her last two wisdom teeth out Friday. More prayer and good thoughts so I can get to scrap & spa for the weekend.

3. Two dogs in the house is at least one dog too many. I've never had dogs before but Rebel is going about training the puppy all wrong imho.

4. I screwed up something at work - not intentionally but I will have to deal with it. Gotta bite the bullet. Luckily I have many friends everywhere in the organization and I will get some help to smooth things over with the top dog. I hate being in the dog house.

5. I had an energy audit done of the house this week. Photo next wordless Very cool process. Lots of gov't grants to help with sealing drafts, getting new windows and finding where the problem areas are to fix things.

6. Did I mention Scrap & Spa? Sooooo looking forward to getting away. Pictures and stuff not at all organized. Tonight and tomorrow after Rebel gets her teeth done. 20 of us chattering, watching chick flicks, eating a ton, ( hello gym clothes good bye jeans with waist band!) and scrapping!

7. SU *finally* remembered to bring home RJ's report card for end of last term. It took him 2 weeks. I was not impressed. I expressed my displeasure.

8. Waiting for the mediator to finish the final draft of separation agreement before it goes to the lawyers... I owe her another $500.

9. Rebel tells me the BF found a house - They plan to move in together April 1. I roll my eyes.. Should be interesting to see how long she lasts. She is not a domestic sort and really doesn't like being hamstrung. He is a meat and potatoes where's my supper I've been working hard - kind of guy. This will be fun to watch as she continues on her independent road.

10. De-cluttering continues. I need a wife!

11. Mortgage financing near completion but I am not happy with some of the hoops I have to jump through that I've never had to jump before - "new economic climate" be damned!

12. Rebel told me that SU still likes me. whatEvEr

13. I'd like SU a whole lot better if he'd ,..... never mind... it's not worth it.

Ironic Circles.

I had a message from a friend - same friend who gathers intelligence for me from SU's place of work - the place of work where the fantasy girlfriend is- the same one whose picture SU carries around in his wallet. Remember friends there was a long weekend - over Valentine's Day and I know that the Fantasy Girfriend has a real boyfriend - they get engaged over the weekend! Her Facebook profile photo was changed to reflect her newly engaged status as a couple. Apparently it was all the buzz at work on Tuesday and Wednesday. She will more than likely be leaving that school now for good to live in another town.

Later that Tuesday the teachers at SU's school played a hockey game against the students. SU scored on his own net! It was texted to the Rebel Junior about 30 seconds after it happened.

Ya gotta wonder about that. I *nearly* felt sorry for him. It was Valentine's Day when SU proposed to me. We seem to have come to some kind of ironic circle haven't we?

Wordless Wednesday.

Flummoxing Routine.

Yes it has been a few days. I've been seriously overworked at work - a ton to do - not enough time to do it. When I get home around 7 ish... I am positively wiped out. Of course, the SU is around but we're not a team so I don't have a supper waiting for me. My girls apparently don't eat or SU doesn't try to make meals for them, so I grab a bite of whatever is around, talk to Rebel Junior if she's locked onto the computer and try and get a few words out of her.

Rebel went and got herself a second dog. Or the BF did. He snuck it into the house. It's a teeny tiny 6 week old puppy- half dachshund half jack russell. The older dog- all 7 pounds of flufffy insecurity on a good day is flummoxed. (If a dog can be flummoxed) He's totally afraid of this puppy, has no interest in playing with said puppy - has nipped at him more than once and usually runs away and tries to get away from said puppy. It hasn't been pretty.

I tore a strip off the BF and then did something somewhat gentler with the Rebel. I mean seriously - we have this one skittish dog who was insecure for most of his life and they thought a friend would help him. The 7 pound wonder doesn't know how to be an alpha and now puppy is making him very unhappy.

A friend is in from out of town for a day long seminar tomorrow. We found out we were both going to same seminar. So it looks like I may join her at Camp Westin for a PJ party downtown tonight, and we can get to the seminar together in the morning. That should prove to be a lot of fun. Said friend is Rebel's godmother and we've been friends for over 20 years now. Nothing like Camp Westin to break up the routine!

Valentine's Smoochie

Happy Tree Friends - Valentine's Smoochie

Our sweet Valentine's Day Smoochie featuring Giggles!

View >>

The Plan is there is No Plan.

It's Friday. Thank goodness. I've had a hugely busy week at work - due to forecasting budgeting I am short staffed and trying to do two jobs. Will be glad for this to be done.

Rebel has to see the doc today for a cyst on her ovary. Poor kid- Will this ever stop and she gets to have a relatively normal healthy life. The colds keep going around too. Someone in the house sniffles and Rebel gets the whole nasty thing. The weather was balmy enough that I opened up the window in a attempt to chill the germs out of the house! She wasn't impressed.

I see there are real estate magazines lying around the house. Finally. I hope it means that SU is finally getting off his butt and doing the search.

Weekend. No plans... will use the FlyLady principles and will attack my cluttered bedroom and have it turned into a haven within a couple of weeks. That's the plan. I deserve it.

Wordless Wednesday.

Infamous Words.

My weekends really need to be more productive. I don't do a whole lot. I don't seem to have much energy to get anything done. My bedroom is the catch all where I keep everything these days and it's starting to wear me down but not enough to do something about it. I keep the main floor of the house tidied up - but just can't seem to make the effort to do something about the rest of the house. That is the part that no one sees.

Not sure if it's just the winter blahs, the separation, both or something else. I know I would be much happier if I got that space uncluttered but I am not there yet. sigh.

I also note that Rebel is getting back into feistiness that pre dates her illness. She was using some strong vulgar language in my presence which I tagged her for. We got into it about how she wanted to speak her way and she didn't need to impress anyone. I told her that it was about respect for me and my unwillingness to put up with vulgar trashy language in my own home. I don't know if she really didn't get what I was saying or if she doesn't care.

Rebel Junior is picking up right after the eldest and neither of them would see my point of view. I finally cut off the conversation with the infamous words of parents everywhere - totally lacking in creativity: "my house - my rules - I deserve respect and your nasty vocabulary is disrespectful. Feel free to go elsewhere and let others put up with your trashy language. I won't have it. " Of course SU stayed out of the mix - as he always does.

Oddly enough Rebel had earlier in the day told me how the BF's 7 yr old son was giving her a hard time with his language and she wasn't having any of it. She insisted that dad take care of it - because he had to learn respect. Of course I mentioned this and was told - completely different situation. When she is finally a parent - it's gonna be great to observe. God willing I live that long to see it. That's the ultimate payback I believe.

I may be sending Rebel into the arms of the BF and the two of them co-habiting (roll eyes) and perhaps sending Rebel Junior off to live with dad with my insistence on a certain level of behavior but so be it. I do NOT need to settle for anything other than young women who know how to respect their mother. These things have been so much much tougher to teach and instill when their father is silent on the important stuff.

Thursday Thirteen.

13 ways to say SEPARATION

1. parting of the ways
2. departure
3. division
4. divorce
5. disunion
6. divorce or divorcement
7. dedomiciling (you're kidding, right?!) It's in the thesaurus - it's gotta be real.

HEY! aren't there any synonyms that don't start with di or du?
why sure thing ... here we go!

8. estrangement
9. rupture
10.split
11.leave-taking
12.farewell

and....

my personal favourite....

13. pffft!

Wordless Wednesday

Dealing.

I've been dealing with the mortgage broker and no surprise to me my credit rating is down somewhat because of one credit card that is a tad over spent and under paid. yeah yeah Yeah... I know. I am quite near to getting that looked after and luckily the mortgage broker has known me since we first bought our house. This guy is great. I do have a meeting with the current bank that holds my mortgage but I am not at all loyal. No point. I've yet to meet a bank that has shown me any loyalty so I will go where ever I get the best deal for the mortgage for my house.

I am running crazy at work these days too since I am short staffed and doing two jobs. It's keeping me busy. What do I do first? The front line staff, the staffing or the budget - time to talk to the guy who sets the priorities. Let him tell me since he gets paid the big bucks.

I've had a number of people ask me what my plan is for post separation. AS IF I've had to consider a plan. I believe the real question is... "so you gonna start dating?"
Along with that are the people sending me the "so now that you're separated/divorced/alone/starting a new life" type of books and articles. Well meaning I am sure. Perhaps I'll highlight a few of those as we go along.

SU has been most polite and helpful lately. Not sure why and I've decided NOT to speculate or wonder. A day at a time and just keep moving forward. As it is the mediator has informed us that she is out of the country as of Feb 16 and won't prepare the final draft of the agreement until after she returns Feb 23rd. WhatEv. I have to snicker a little - SU isn't out of the house, but it sure give him plenty of time to find what he needs. And that much closer to the end of snow shoveling season too.

Writing a Cheque isn't a Green Light.

I was out of town over the weekend and Rebel Junior was home most of the weekend with a 10 page booklet to complete as part of her request to be an exchange student in France for 3 months next year.
The questions are a bit troublesome for now given we haven't dealt with the final details of the separation and also... RJ's attitude and things that need to be improved any way.

Things like - tell us about your routine at home;

• Chores you're expected to do, responsibilities around home.
• What does your family do together?
• What are some of the activities you'd like to plan with your student during the exchange visit.
• Send photos of where your exchange student will be living.
• How do you get to school?
• What do you do when you're not in school?

LOTS of that kind of detail because they want good matches for the kids to ensure everyone has a great time AND gets along really well.

There are a number of issues around the RJ herself that need attending to, never mind the stuff around where the kid will sleep. I've told SU that her going to France is NOT a done deal in my book. She does have this sense of entitlement that I do not like and have had trouble countering for some time. She NEVER does any chore and lacks responsibility with regards to everything. It doesn't make me happy. And I don't particularly want to bring a strange kid into this kind of environment. It would be so wrong and unfair.

On the other hand this is a really great, relatively affordable way to spend time in another country. I never would have thought that RJ would be the one to want to do this kind of thing. It would be good for her.

She does seem to believe though that if her father signs the cheques she's good to go. I've told her and him that ain't the way it's going to work. I expect and need an attitude shift and a change in how things work before I have a student living with me and before I send her to live elsewhere too. I have no problem putting the breaks on this if I don't see a child who is a little more grateful and a little less hateful. She needs to make changes and her father needs to know that writing a cheque isn't a green light.

Yet one more thing to deal with on the separation road.