Learning to Drive a Whole New Way
1 year ago
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Volleying.
Got through yesterday's mediation session without smacking the SU. There are things that he will never understand or make sense of.
First he didn't understand the difference between making an offer on a house and a close date when the money has to change hands. The Barracuda was adamant that he be on his way out of the house. "But where am I supposed to live if I have to be out and I don't have a place yet?"
"umm really? NOT my problem." He was taken aback by that. Did he really think I'd invite him to stay as long as necessary?
We volleyed back and forth on some expense stuff and at one point he said well if Rebel and RJ know how we're managing the money ..... at which point I interrupted and said Rebel and RJ do not need to know the details of this business arrangement. It's NOT their concern or their business how finances are set up to look after their needs. They stay out of it. The mediator, surprisingly agreed. Whether or not SU abides by this is another question.
So given that the 30 day period is going to be nearly there anyway, I agreed to final move out of July 15th. I'll be away for that week so I won't have to worry about what he is up to.
Oddly he's buying the strangest things. I've found hidden (or not so hidden away) so far - a crock pot, two sets of drinking glasses and a set of glass mixing bowls of all things. I am trying to decide what to do about his lawn mower. I think I'll tell him to take it as it is pretty cumbersome. I should be able to get something a little easier to use than what he had. Never mind that it sits outside in the snow every winter and will probably die soon for lack of proper care.
Rebel tried again to tell me she *needed* my car today because she promised some friend of hers that she'd take her and her kids for dental surgery. I had a number of meetings today where I needed to use my car so this wasn't on. Once again she was furious - without just cause - I had to walk away from her torrent of blah blah blah.
SU has STILL not told his family about the impending separation and divorce. Very very odd behaviour.
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4 comments:
I wouldn't let the ex move her stuff out of the house unless I was there. In the end I relented and let her start boxing things as long as our friend Karo was there. Turns out at the time that she (karo) believed a lot of the crap ex had told her about me that she now knows to be completely false. In the end, I didn't look through the boxes the ex packed. I did stop her from packing up some stew/soup mugs that she was just going to give to a friend. This is after she took all the dishes. Um, no.
She took all the pots and pans too so as to the crockpot (she left behind) I think that is actually a good move for SU. I grew up eating out of them and to this day a lot of my "cooking" is done in a crockpot.
I am so happy that you have a solid move out date. That has got to be good to be able to finally count down the days. Heh, You should put a counter at the top of the blog page!
As for Rebel, she just learned a tough lesson in promising something she couldn't provide. Hell, those of us with our own cars have trouble enough, what with flat tires, dead batteries etc. I stand by my statement from the other day. A helpful hint might have been to send her off to borrow bf's car. See how well that works out for them. They are playing at being adults, this is one of the areas adults have to share their lives.
looking forward to a "hit the bricks" counter :-)
{hugs}
~R
I am so happy to read that he has an actual date to be gone. When you can see the end in sight it makes the interim easier to handle.
What is up with that girl and the assumption that your car is hers? I am so thankful that she is healthy enough to drive you nuts but goodness she needs to do some growing up, eh?
I am really not surprised, based on your posting here, that he hasn't bothered to tell his family. He is probably hoping you will do so.
Hang in there. The end near!
love and hugs,
~ b
I LIKE the counter idea... and I believe I know someone who might be able to help me make it happen.
thanks for that Rudy.
and indeed Blondie, my sister in law and I talk all the time and she has known about the separation for a while now. I told her if she wanted to tell the parents... I would leave it with her to do so or not.
It would be interesting to be a fly on the wall when he heads home to visit them and hear what he says and what they say back. Though I recognize that blood is thicker and all that....
Well, now I truly know that SU has a terminal case of "head up the ass syndrome"....which in his case seems to be fatal.
How on earth can a man his age be in such f**king denial???
GAH, straighten those kids out and soon, for fear they contract their father's disease.
I'm with Rudy, let her borrower BF's car, he has one doesn't he?
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