So the spouse threw paperwork at me yesterday evening as I was trying to end my day on a calm note.
They were the disclosure docs you need in preparation for separating matrimonial property. He’s been to a lawyer and has the information now. Something I did years ago the first time the bomb dropped.
I was a tad surprised as I didn’t expect him to suddenly turn proactive. Highly unusual for him. So as he is standing there and attempting to explain to me what the documents are. I interrupted him and told him that I already knew what they were and what was required.
But I am NOT ready for this even now… just not ready. My counsellor tells me it’s okay to not be ready. No doubt we’ll delve there this week and see what’s keeping me from taking it on to the next level. I am dreading it if truth be told.
And I was so pissed at said spouse for empowering himself; I took all three copies of said documentation and put them through the shredder! Shredded them all – AS IF that will make it go away. I know it won’t. But I felt better.
My gut tells me to just deal with it, my head says… make it go away.
Before he sees the lawyer again, I want him to consider one more time - counselling for himself. He’s drinking too much, he’s angry, he’s miserable, and he’s arrogant. I don’t expect he will have the courage. If that’s the case, as I expect it will be, then I guess it will indeed be a done deal.
All around this drama I am also informed that we’ve had mice in the house again. Mostly in the basement. They come in somehow behind my kitchen, right where I keep a lot of my serving dishes, hardware stuff, tools and such. I realized the amount of mouse turds was waaaaaay out of control when I opened the drawer under the oven and saw the those nasty things. BUT – this isn’t the first time.
And WHY did the spouse wait until after I got home from church on Sunday to tell me he wanted to wash the floor and do loads of dishes. I told him it was Sunday and couldn’t wait? He’s been home from work for two weeks, why now? I wanted cooking therapy that afternoon.
It took him another three hours to tell me what the deal was! So I stopped cooking and started cleaning. And in between cleaning he dumps his marital property docs on me. I came back two hours later and it’s as if NOTHING had transpired. How weird is that.
I asked him, - this isn’t the first time we’ve had mice in the house, what do we need to do to FIX the problem? So he goes into his speech about the traps, and getting them all, and now we clean blah, blah, blah!
“No,” says I, “that’s about the symptoms, what about getting to the root of the problem?“
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“We need to STOP the mice from getting into the house in the first place. Do we hire some kind of pest company to figure this out, where they are coming from, how they're getting in, or what? I am kinda tired of the mouse in the house game!”
“Professionals!” he sneers, “ waste of money and they can’t do a damn thing about this.”
Funny, that’s what he said when, a few years ago, I asked him to come to counselling with me - the one and only time. The one and only time.
I’m setting myself up for a repeat retort aren’t I?
Perhaps there’s a bad metaphor here for his head stuff and the mouse in the house stuff.
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