While I am sort of glad to see the feistiness I am stymied as the mom. It's the damn BF. A day after being at home, she slept at his house. This is because we told her he would NOT be sleeping with her at our house. She had a problem with this, and he, at the advanced age of 29, wouldn't see our point of view. Instead he has decided we don't "respect" him and he doesn't talk to either the SU or me, and kind of slinks in and and out of the house with the girl. I have to give the SU credit for knocking on the girl's door one evening and telling the BF it was time to go home, not to fall asleep and "forget" to go home. The Rebel is back. She was spitting nails about this.
The girl believes she is in love with him and "needs" to be with him. I countered "need" is close to obsession so be careful. She wants to live with him. Right now, he lives with his mother and her boyfriend in the province next door. She can't live outside of the province because her health care costs would be seriously compromised. Both the SU and I have health plans that cover her drug costs until she is 25 at least given her extra ordinary status. She sees this as a problem not a gift. The BF has no health plan and of course if he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid. This is the same BF who told his fiancee that he couldn't come visit her at the hospital one evening after promising to be there because he didn't have money for gas. yet somehow he managed to buy the girl a $1000 engagement ring. I worry about this man and his effect on my girl.
Many have told us to wait it out. Her own friends have no use for this man of hers. Nor did the nurses at the hospital - those who ventured an opinion now and again. The man does remind me a lot of the SU - his problems with his father, his need for recognition, his running away from confrontations. Very much like the SU. SU was living at home when I met him however he did have income potential as his education was completed. This lad, no ambition, no education or training in a trade, no plans. ARGH.
She is doing very well health wise. I am hoping to get through this mess and hope that as the separation kicks in again, Rebel won't use it as an excuse to live somewhere on welfare benefits with the BF rather than stay home, get educated and then have her fantasy wedding. I am working hard to bite my tongue and not be rude about it all.
Learning to Drive a Whole New Way
1 year ago
5 comments:
I am so very happy to hear that Miss Rebel is doing so well health-wise. Truly continued answers to prayer without a doubt.
I know it must be horrible trying to keep your mouth shut when you can clearly see the poor choices she is making. She is worth so much more than this guy. I am praying that her eyes will be opened to who he truly is and that she will set her Rebel ways aside in regards to this guy. bleh!
love ya girlfriend.
*hugs*
~ b
I wonder if we can find someone local who can apply the knee-capping technique to a few deserving males in your immediate circle. ;-)
just sayin....
Blonde, too funny.
I am concerned that Rebel doesn't understand her situation a little more clearly. Did nothing of this sink in....how about she start paying a small % of meds...see how that sits in the wallet area...oh and if BF does stay over, of course the extra income from their rent would help too! At 29, this dude needs a major shakedown...and not take the Rebel with him....
Unfortuanately a reality check is in order for both, and if I may say, good on the SU to step up and laid down some rules....
Gah, wish there was something we could do to help.
Love you tons,
*hugs*
Lily
truly aggravating Friends. Ah well. What's a mom to do?
I did have a friend from work say to me "who do we know who can *deal*this guy? Where are those kneecapping connections when you need them!" LOL
I will haev the SU have a chat with the girl and the BF yet again for whatever it's worth. meantime, I am going to sit in a friend's hot tub for the evening barring the rain!
HUGS
thanks for the commiseration.
M
screw the rain. You are already wet in the tub. Wear a ball cap with a brim to keep the rain off of the specs.
I hope you had a good evening.
Well, you knew the Rebel would come back with the health so it is a good sign I guess.
Blondie can tell you I have had issues with my daughter too but she is just under 24 and is at least earning some money and living with her HS gal pal and not with either of her parents. This guy needs to grow up.
Post a Comment