Outlandish.

The Rebel is doing very well health wise but as for how she is conducting her life - we are back to two years ago when she decided to wander off to another city and any attempt to reason, talk or met with foul language and complete stubbornness. The difference this time, is I see the SU getting a little more involved with this situation. And I swear I will NOT do what her BF has already done and that is use her illness and the time spent at the hospital with her as my leverage. He does this in spades "who was there for you? Who came and kept you company?" This won't carry weight if I say it, so I don't. BUt my baby is seriously messing up with this 29 yr old ( 30 this summer) man who has a child and the child's older brother from another father. He lives with his mother because he can't afford - he says - an apartment.

She has decided because we don't like him to not ever be at home. If it weren't for the fact that a visiting nurse comes daily at 8 AM to inject the IV anti biotics, I doubt she would be here.

The BF in his immaturity has decided to NOT fix the SU's car now. He's giving him the parts that SU paid for and plans to tell him to find someone else to fix the car. The BF, says the Rebel, doesn't want to be in our house. So I asked the daughter if this was my problem? I told her he won't come in because he must be feeling bad about something. If if he felt all was right with the world, coming into our home shouldn't be a problem for him. He needs to be able to gain our respect and he isn't willing to play ball. A very immature I believe.

When he does come in, he weasels right by us, and runs (seriously!) upstairs to the daughter's bedroom and hides. He doesn't say hello, he doesn't hang around and try nor does he want to talk to us about how to proceed. He is following Rebel's rather immature lead on her feelings. Then he has the nerve to eat our food and take showers in the middle of the afternoon in my home. This man has no shame. At one point, Rebel told me that none of his former girlfriends' parents ever liked this man when he dated their daughters. I reminded her of this as her anger at me and her father spilt over. I gently asked her if all these parents didn't like him, perhaps he needed to think about his own behaviour, because it clearly can't be all the parents. He must be doing things that rub parents the wrong way as it happens to him over and over again. So I suggested that she ask him to think about his previous relationships and wonder what it could be or might be about him that causes the same reactions over and over. Rebel didn't like this at all.

None of her friends like this guy either, except for her best friend, who is probably lying. However she is very immature herself. She's 20 and dating a 16 year old. ( the happiest 16 yr old on the face of the earth who is getting sex regularly ... but that's story for another blog!) The friends have tried to say something, but if they do, she cuts them off and stops talking to them. This will hurt her eventually as she is a social person who LOVES and NEEDS to have her many friends around her. In spite of their lack of visits at the hospital. And the BF is using this. He doesn't like a single one of her friends. Not one. WE are not impressed with how he has chosen to allow their relationship to play itself out here. I pray she rebels against this in short time.

SU has told me that we need to use reverse psychology on this man as he won't realize what we're doing. He has never known a healthy independent do whatever the hell I want Rebel. Her experience seems to be telling her to the get married now rather than do something huge with this experience of her. I would settle for her getting her high school equivalence and starting college before thinking marriage. SU believes we need to appear as if we are working with the BF - rather than pushing him out. What do you need from us for Rebel?

Our Rebel is smart. She can leave this guy in the dust. She is also someone who will only learn by experiencing. NOTHING we have ever said to her has sunk in until after she has had her experience. This is one experience I believe that could break her new heart in spite of her convictions that there will be a marriage and partnership for her lifetime. Sometimes real life is more outlandish than anything that goes on during day time tv soap dramas.