I Hit on a Dud.

I started filling out the various forms for the mediation sessions to start. I love the part where she asks - what do you anticipate the challenges to be during your mediation sessions? How about "an SU who believes he is always right and prefers to debate rather than mediate." And " SU is rude, condescending, and believes he is always right. I apparently don't have an informed opinion on most matters he believes are of interest." And I left it at that.

She sent a form that we are both to sign - and I decided I didn't like it - so I re wrote the form from all We and Us and changed to me and my and took out references to us all over the place and sent it back to her telling her - I have responded and agree and did it my way - he can do same. I don't feel the need to sign with him on this piece of paper as there is no longer a "we." Bitchy perhaps - and no lawyer likes a lay person amending their little forms but it's not a legal form it's an agreement and I agree just not in a we kind of way.

I have noticed that I seem to be hanging around with a lot of women who are divorced or separated. I can remember a friend from the Divorce Busting site who's walk away wife WAW- was part of a similar club. He had a name form them but I don't remember it. This concerns me a little as I really don't want to think of myself as a member of this particularly group. I really do want to keep seeing and hanging out with some of my married friends. I think it's a lot healthier and - I don't know - I am a tad uncomfortable being a part of this club. I have noted that the one friend I told doesn't have a right to a divorce - she has to do the work to end the marriage - hasn't called me lately. I don't think she expected to hear what I told her and figured we were both part of the club. What I am going to have to make clear is - this isn't a club of my choosing - but whatEvEr I am there. I did what I needed to do to not be in it, but it didn't go that way.

So perhaps I'll take out associate rather than full membership because the reality is - I hit on a dud of a partner and I don't hate all husbands and men, just the RAMBs who are not getting the role they took on. The club does provide me with a supportive place as I need it and I know I can be and do the same for others. But there are times when the men are nice to have around and other women's, and friends' husbands are nice guys who I do enjoy spending time with too.