He Lectures. I Practice Zen.

The spousal unit is starting to kick it up a notch. He was on my case about me not filling out the financial forms. I told him I was not ready. I also told him that when I *was* ready he would get them. He was talking on and on about what I had to do and why I had to do it. It sounded rather like a lecture for grade nine students. He is a teacher. This is how he regularly speaks to me and others. Others have told me they don't like his lecturing style.

So I stopped him...

"spouse," said I," you're not telling me anything I don't know.
Please do not speak to me as if I was one of your students. I am not."

"what do you mean?
You need to know this, and you have to deal with it."

"I am well aware of all this information,
and I will deal with it when I am ready."

The conversation did continue on he getting more frustrated, me trying to get into the zen calm thing. At some point his heavy drinking entered the conversation. By anyone's definition three or four ounces of whiskey every night and a couple of beers around the whiskey is defined everywhere as heavy drinking.

His response was:

"I am never hung over, and it's not interfering with work."

"YET!"

Since then - Saturday evening - he hasn't touched a drop. I believe he is attempting to make a point. I believe it is too late.

He has also made veiled threats of *who* will live in the matrimonial home post separation and *with whom* He believes that because he is such a Disneyland Dad, our girls will want to live with him in the house that he refuses to maintain. I've been told to not engage and not get into it with him. And I agree. I did tell him though, that I was not going anywhere for some time.

He took his glass of water and left the kitchen.