I was late arriving home from work - no mother of the year award here - I was speaking at a conference and the schedule was changed at the last minutes. Truth be told as well, dear friends from grad school were at this conference and we had to have a chat and a glass of wine before I left. One of the friends is a devout Catholic. She has met the spouse. She is a very frank woman. Always has been. When she asked.. so Marie.. how's the spouse? I told her.
It continues to surprise me what people tell me now that these wheels are in motion.
"Marie, I always wondered why you married him. You're so "different" You love to be out and about, and he loves to stay home and watch hockey games. He's not a very social type. Ah well, if you tried everything you could and he won't try anything, you really don't have much choice do you?"
She continued,
"Yes Marie, I know you know I am seriously tied to the church, but forever is just too long. People change and we have to take this into account."
She did tell me that after the divorce I should get the annulment. I expect to do that. She cracks me up this woman. I'll see her again for a much longer chat when I fly out to Newfoundland for meetings after the long weekend.
And so it goes. Is there anyone out there beside the spouse's mother who has a little higher regard for him?
If they're there... they're not saying much.
3 comments:
Interesting comments from your friend. Being a non-Catholic myself, I have to ask...how can you get an annulment after so many years of marriage?
Wow. It's great to get together with old friends.
In the Catholic faith an annulment works the way does in any other faith breakup divorce thing... sharia law or the Jewish GET. The annulment is the spiritual end of the marriage decided by a marriage tribunal. It is a tribunal of canon law experts particularly those knowledgable in the tenets of the sacrament of marriage. They don't make it easy for you. Each partner has to be interviewed and fill out a huge document. Intent within the marriage has to be considered. Did you INTEND on being married for the rest of your life? Did you realize you were entering in "holy" matrimony... and on and on and on. The tribunal makes a decision as to the end of the spirtitual nature of the marriage. You pretty much need help from a canon lawyer, usually a priest educated to the PhD level and familiar with how the tribunal works.... and of course... money. It helps to be "connected" to church hierarchy, which, luckily I am!
This is not annulment in the secular legal sense whereby the marriage is wiped off the record. That's not it all. It's an end.
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