Cautiously Positive

Rebel seems to be getting some strength back. She has had physiotherapy every day since Friday. The week day therapist is impressed with how well she is managing to do given how long she has been virtually immobile. She does leg and arm raises, neck movements to get her to use her neck muscles and a lot of breathing exercises to get her using her diaphragm. This will help her a lot if the breathing tube is to be removed some time this week. She was exhausted after about 15 minutes of this work.

The sign language isn't getting any better. But her hand writing is getting stronger and easier to read so that helps. In spite of the eye rolling and frustrations.

So as her strength slowly comes back, we're still waiting for her kidney function to kick in and for the blood to clot on its own. The medical team seemed to be cautiously positive on her progress.

Her doctor from the Heart Failure Clinic, and transplant director, came around to see her she told me. He told her she was one strong girl and that she more than likely would have needed the ventricular assist device - but he would have preferred a planned surgery rather than the dramatic fashion she had to get it implanted. She told me she was happy to have him visit her.

I am kind of tired. No surprise. I have a prescription for Lorazapan and haven't taken it yet. Friends at church, doctors, told me to listen to my doc and take it. For two reasons... it will take the edge off and it will also help break negative cycles that disrupt sleep patterns. A good friend said - take the drugs - it will stop your brain from all the "what if's" at night. I think she made more sense than the docs.

I wonder occasionally how the SU is coping. Given all I have going for me - drugs, a massage therapy appointment, friends coming to see me at the hospital, emailing me etc etc, and he doesn't appear to have that much going on. He certainly doesn't tell me or even look to open up. I have enough going on in my head and keeping it together for the RebelTweeny that I figure it's not my job to probe. I am here if he wants to talk, but then again, that would be raising my expectations higher than they have been in months.

So I will continue as I have and focus where I need to instead.