Bushwhacked!

Thankfully I don't have too much to say about Rebel any longer. Health wise she is doing so well. As for everything else.... well... I am not much in the mood to continue ranting or whining about her behaviour with the BF and what she is thinking on that front. He is truly a jackass without a brain that does much and for some reason she is smitten by him. I have to be patient and hope she figures out that he is not all she thinks he is - not by a long shot.

Rebel Tweeny - soon to be rechristened Rebel Jr or Little Rebel ( should there be a vote?) had her dance recital this weekend. She was great. The theme of the show was The Mall and her section was the Hair Salon and they danced to a song from Hairspray. The first show she was chewing gum. It was so evident. But the dance was great. The SU felt that because he watched her during dress rehearsal he didn't have to attend the real show. Rebel came with me and we cheered the kid on.

Rebel Tweeny has been "cleaning up" her bedroom. She had three garbage bags full of crap in her room. I heard clunking in one of the bags and opened it up to find a whack of CLOTHES in the bag along with real garbage. I was appalled. The kid's idea of cleaning up is just that. Throw it in a garbage bag and put it at the side of the curb. I've finished sorting through the three bags, found more clothes, CDs to full an entire cd rack, socks, and lots of other stuff that had no business being in the garbage. That plus cans and bottles that should be recycled. When she gets home this evening we will have a lesson on cleaning, sorting. To my mind it speaks of a child who has too much and no respect for what she does have. I am not pleased. The problem of course, is that the SU never gets involved on the discipline side of things but is always ready to buy her whatever she wants. This has to change. I've told him no more clothes or other consumables until she starts to respect what she does have. The sad thing is I don't expect any support for my position from the father of my daughter.

So I expect at some point the spousal separation process is going to kick in again. I am still so bushwhacked from the whole heart transplant stuff that to gear up again has me wanting to run for the scotch bottle. So I am just going to quietly work on a few things and start to make plans again and see how things progress through the summer. I am almost at the stage where I will take over rather than letting the SU run the show. I need my life back. If I am the only one of the two of us who has learned from the Rebel's experience that life is short, precarious and precious then I need to really get out there and live. And now. Not later. And to start doing it without the SU and his lack of enthusiasm for anything and everything in spite of what we have been through.

One of the first things I have been mulling over is a road trip to head west to visit the family and friends. I am thinking it could be fun. If someone comes with me - great! If not - I'll go it alone. I expect at this point, it's going to be cheaper than trying to fly AND rent a car when I get home. I am going to think about it a little more before making a final decision.