Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Humbled.


I started to clear out my email in-basket last night, and as I re-read so many of the last year's emails I started to tear up. I sat quietly at the computer re-running again all that we've been through. I came to the realization that there so many emails from friends and family praying for our Rebel I am not ready to delete. It somehow seems wrong to delete all those notes from people sending us prayers, good thoughts, and more.

I know this isn't quite rational. Prayers and good thoughts stay with us whether or not I can see them in the file folders. But I am going to keep them for now. There is a lot I can't even read on the blog and my Facebook page as it brings back a lot of the early trauma, the worry and stress of those tense days worrying and wondering what the outcome would be.

And now I turn around and see my baby - the oldest one- teasing her little sister, hearing the sound of their laughter and I can't even begin, even now, to articulate how grateful, thankful and humbled I am by how she is doing. It's overwhelming.

It's gonna be far from the perfect Christmas, if there even is such a thing - but it will be a good Christmas. My daughters at the table with me - their dad there too.


A quiet blessed day.

Thanks be to God.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

*hugs*

Your post brought tears to my eyes as I read and was transported back a year when we were storming heaven in Rebel's behalf.

Our Lord is so good and has blessed us all in this journey we have taken with you.

I pray that you have a wonderful Christmas with your darling daughters. Hug them for me.

prayers, love and hugs,

~ blondie

Anonymous said...

Those prayers and wishes and kind thoughts should not be lost.

Make a book out of them.

Sometime in the future, when the trauma isn't quite so fresh, it would be good to read over them.

It would be a good reminder when facing storms of life to know, that we are not alone and somewhere, someone is holding us in prayer in their heart.

Merry Christmas
{hugs}
~R

MarieA said...

of course! a scrapbook! Should have thought of that Great idea Rudy
thanks friends.
HUGS right back.


word ver. reindr LOL!!!

Lily on the Road said...

You have had quite a year my dear! I love Rudy's idea, how appropriate!

Christmas is a time of miracles...

Hugs,
Lily