Learning to Drive a Whole New Way
1 year ago
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Moving Along Amidst Fussing and Fretting.
Next mediation, as expected isn't until after the holidays. It was that or December 23rd. Frankly, two days before Christmas didn't seem the right time for me. I am doing what I can to manage what I can of this process. Perhaps it is prolonging the inevitable, perhaps it's moving along at the pace it is intended to move.
I am waiting to hear from a friend at work who is my new handy man carpenter extraordinaire on what he thinks the 43 items on the "must be fixed" list will cost me in round figures. I'll have to add that to the price that the SU has given me to determine what I will pay for the house. If it's less than what he is will to let of then I will ask that an independent appraiser be brought in and I will hand that person my 43 item list - plus a few other things that didn't make it on, but should have. I am quite sure the SU won't be impressed. That's okay because I am not sure he realizes he's not the only decent and quality carpenter around in the city. I also believe that he doesn't think I am capable of getting these things done without him. Well watch this space!
I've been crashing a bit too. This past weekend I had planned on a scrapbooking evening and a couple of other things, and ended up going to bed around 8 at night because I just didn't feel like going anywhere or doing anything. I didn't sleep that well either, but I just wasn't in the mood for much of anything. Rebel wanted me to drive her and the BF to some party because he didn't want to take his car. I didn't want to do that nor did I want them using my car. So I took both sets of keys with me to my room, shut the door and made it clear I was not too be bothered.
Rebel was a little ticked, but that's just her usual Rebel-ness. I am now finding it difficult to separate Rebel Princess wants and needs from actual needs. I guess once you've had a kid who's been sick to the death, it's really tough to not indulge to the max either. The BF though, I will not indulge. He was to stay sober and drive his own car because the license stipulations are that a beginner driver, our Rebel, can only drive a car with someone supervising her. I doubt that someone who is half in the bag is exactly a good supervisor.
So I will now move on and see what I can do about creating a family Christmas while SU frets and fusses about getting his divorce. Hopefully he'll use the time to find himself somewhere else to do the fretting and fussing.
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2 comments:
Good plan on having the carpenter/contractor on stand by. When the ex left we agreed to use the tax assessment as the value of the house. It was documented. Then someone told her that she should have it appraised because housing in the valley was very much in an upswing (even though our house was over 20 years old at the time). I told her she could have it appraised if she wanted and I would pay half of it at the final settlement and not before (roughly $600 for an appraisal) Then I told her that I would have a contractor look at all the things that needed to be fixed and brought up to code and I would not be shopping for bargains nor would I lift a finger for any of it and we would subtract that cost from the price of the house. She may end up with less of a deal. She didn't call my bluff.
When your friend looks things over and gives you a quote make sure he doesn't give you the friend's bargain on that paper (even if he will do the work for that later) and use fair market (or slightly above) prices to figure into the value of the house.
~R
I hope that SU will find somewhere else to do his fretting and fussing so that you can celebrate this glorious season as peacefully as possible.
my love and hugs to you and the girls.
~ blondie
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