Changing my mind

So this weekend workshop was pretty fascinating. The point being made by the teacher was that the limbic brain - the part of the brain between the brain stem and the cerebral cortex - is the part that controls most of our reactions to daily life. If we can understand how the limbic brain works, we can understand *why* we do what we do.

The limbic brain is the part that is second oldest in terms of evolution. While the brain stem controls the automatic things we do - breathing, heart beat, the limbic systems control emotions and reactions. Fight or flight responses and feelings.

So take it a step further - emotions are all chemical reactions. The limbic system prefers safe to different - so *most * of our behaviours are programmed at the cellular level through chemical reactions from our emotions from before our own time. They are genetic imprints. So even if what we are doing does NOT make sense, our limbic system is saying subconsciously to keep doing it,because you survived it, you are safe. That is all it knows. And this conditioning is not reflective of time or circumstance. It doesn't recognize these. It only understands safe survival.

So... changing these deeply held patterns and programmes is very hard to do, because of the body's need to survive and be safe. Anything new or different is not safe.

So re-programming has to take place at a really deep level so that - we can change patterning that we have no control over, so that our limbic system learns to understand what the *new* safe is, and the chemical reactions causing emotions and reactions can be dealt with.

It's waaaaaay more complicated than this, and it takes more than a two day workshop to get this kind of stuff managed. But she has some hard core scientific evidence for her work. Based on her own health when traditional medical science didn't work.

Much of this patterning and conditioning is in utero - it's chemical and is passed on, and it's in place before we are five years old. AND MOST of any reaction we have can be traced somehow to conditions in our childhood. (one more thing we parents get the blame for... but... any example we looked at this weekend all fit!)

Interesting thing about the attendees at this workshop. One adorable married couple who wanted to improve their relationship, the rest... women like me either going through significant change in relationships or on the other side and want to ensure they don't screw up again.


I had my first taste of these safe and fright or flight feelings this evening. There is a letter on the kitchen table from the spouse's lawyer. I have not had the courage to open it. My heart started to race as soon as I saw the return address. My initial reaction was to tear it to shreds. Intellectually I know this is not a good response. I don't feel safe, I want to run away both mentally and physically. I started to use some of the techniques I learned this weekend to get myself under control and to keep telling my sub conscious mind that I was safe. I wasn't going to die if I opened the letter.

I still haven't opened it and probably won't until I get to my therapy appointment tomorrow. But I can breathe again, and I feel calm and not as if I will kick the spouse in the gut...... today.

The time to "lawyer up" seems to have arrived.