Keeping Cool

....... under the circumstances.

Interestingly, as I was musing about when the SU might turn up with our RebelTweeny I received a phone call from the sister in law. They are not leaving the east coast until Friday and with the niece in tow as well. Her dad, SU's single dad brother, is staying behind in the east for "peace and quiet." Apparently, niece would give both Rebel and Rebel Tween a run for the money in the drama & dare department. His parental style, according to the SIL, is similar to SU's. Can you see the eyes rolling?! I am none too pleased with this information. She will be here alone without her dad for nearly two weeks.

RebelTween has a baby sitting engagement which I will NOT allow her to forfeit. I am not expecting the SU to take this into account. I will be back at work full time so I most certainly won't be entertaining niece. Rebel isn't much in the mood or even able really to entertain said niece.

Sister in law figured I wouldn't know about this turn of events and accurate she was. I was pleased she gave me the heads up on what was down the road. WhatEvEr. Niece will be SU's problem. I will no doubt need to ensure that RT doesn't decide to take her on midnight walks or outings late into the evening. Sister in law asked if I was ready to handle this, and I told her I was too tired to deal with another problem teen. She said she wasn't surprised to hear it.

That same evening RT called me to give me the same news. I let her know "quitting" her mother's helper job over the next two weeks was not an option. At first she balked, but I let her know how disappointed the mom would be if she didn't show, and worse, how disappointed the FIVE, yes count'em FIVE kids, and another due in October, would be if she didn't show. She'll go and enjoy it for her $12 bucks a day! I am thinking about calling the SU at his parents place, oh did I mention that RT is with aunt and SU is at his parents, so kid isn't even spending time with her dad? - yes... calling SU and to let him know how things will be when he brings the niece home with him. The bigger question is also, where will niece and her dad sleep? With SU in the spare room and me not about to give up sleeping smack in the middle of my queen size bed... where is he planning on putting everyone? I suggest a hotel!

Rebel and I spent three hours at the Heart Institute this morning. Rebel went through a bunch of tests. The echo cardiogram again, blood work and a nuclear med thing... radio active stuff injected into her veins so that pictures could be taken of the stuff hitting her heart and what was going on in there. I worry a bit about what happens to these little bits of radio active material in her body. However on the other hand, if it helps heal, that 's good. But ... how does it " go away" as per the lab tech who did the test?

Glad to be off work. I've read and reread the harassment policy and will need to chat with she who believes in dictating rather than leading to let her know that "abuse of authority" is harassment. I am not usually one to be too perturbed by idiot managers, I mean... there are so many of them in the world, but given how my life seems to be one major thing after another, I believe I will feel good taking this one down a notch or two. She doesn't deserve the job. She can't do it. She needs to be booted back to private. 1 star general material? - hell... she ain't even sergeant material. Boot camp. Back to basics before attempting to lead anyone.

A/C gone again! sigh. And it's a hot one today. 32 degrees C; 96ish F for the US folks. A/C guy back tomorrow. It's weird. The A/C machine outside the house is working, but the furnace inside isn't. I am not likin' this.

I'm thinking chicken caesar salad and cold BEvERages for supper. I am also thinkin we're not either of us going to be moving around too quickly either. Shall sit in my chair, listening to the CBC and cropping photos for the scrapbooks!

Keep cool

Monday Musing

Typically, the spousal unit didn't indicate to me when he might be returning from the visit to his family. I sorta expect them any time now, but since I really don't know for sure, Rebel and I are doing what we want to do. This doesn't surprise me. He never calls. Though this time, he called once to tell me he was going to his brother's place away from mom and dad. I gave him Rebel's cell number but he never did call her. Shame on him. I don't have expectations any longer, but a call to his daughter would be nice. She would love it.

I may call my sister in law and see what she can tell me. I know that RebelTweeny is more than ready to be at home, as is the cousin from the west coast. The two of them have said so on their Facebook profiles. As in - I am fuckin ready to get the fuck out here... geeez.. I wanna go home. - Niece's words. Not mine. lol

I am off work for two days now. Taking Rebel for tests on Tuesday and decided that I needed another day off. I stressed a little too much over the weekend about the new ill experienced manager and I now have the harassment policy at home and thinking that the abuse of authority paragraph is going to fit the bill. In the meantime, I am also continuing to talk to friends, mentors and others I hold in regard and shall see what I can plot to make changes in conditions for myself and my team.

Rebel and I take off shortly for the Harry Potter movie. RT wants to see Hairspray and we all want to go see No Reservations at some point.

When I get back I expect it will be time for the cocktail hour to get underway on the quarterdeck!

Friday File

The A/C is fixed. The weekend has arrived. And I expect the SU will be home soon though I don't have a specific date. I think it's this weekend, but maybe it's next week.

I think Rebel Tweeny is having a pretty good time, but her dad hasn't been very good about taking her places. He dumped her at the Aunt's house and did a lot of his own thing if the daughter is to be believed. I know there all kinds of things he could have done, but he's never been good at that sort of thing. Shall see what I hear when she arrives. She has stayed in touch via Facebook. What would we do if we didn't have Facebook!?

Rebel not doing too badly. We had a lovely evening last night with another friend and her daughter. My friend has lost many of her friends. She is a functioning alcoholic. Her health is precarious, her relationship with her spouse... at odds on a good day... with her kids... as bad. She is in denial in a big way. However during my first incidence of spousal problems she was there and does have a heart of gold. She told me this was her first evening out with a friend in over a year. They don't call, because of how she is when she drinks which is all the time. We had a lovely evening though. She actually ate a whole meal, and didn't snap at her daughter once. And both daughters had a few good laughs as well. One of those nice warm summer evenings again!

My job has been turning into a major stressor (as if I don't already have a few) I have managers promoted beyond their capabilities and I am just too good at what I do to put up with decision makers who make decisions because they can rather than from anything based on situation, knowledge and experience. I have put the word out with people who know me that I am needing an escape route... soon! It's too bad. I work with great scary smart people and it would be a shame to leave the business. But I will . I am sort of known around town and expect it wouldn't be too hard to find a few things I would like to dabble in.

I left work today and felt I needed a cool glass of wine to calm down. NOT a good thing. But did have a fruity summery pinot grigo with lots of ice with my grilled cheese instead of the shot of scotch that I was really thinking would do me good. It won't I know this.

I think I will go scrapbooking this evening. Take the photos from my big party and laugh the evening away with the girls. That will ease away the worries of the day.

Hope you all have an enjoyable weekend.

Thirteen summer things I've been doing.

1. Reading books on the quarter deck with coffee tea or other BEvERages as appropriate.
2. Hanging the sheets outside to dry even after the dryer has been replaced because they smell so nice on the bed.
3. Slathering the sunless tanning lotion on my legs rather than baking outside. Anything to avoid white leg syndrome.
4. Going for walks on the paths - not often enough.
5. Going out for lunch or dinner with friends and eating outside on patios.
6. Playing music loud.
7. Keeping the windows open everywhere when the humidity drops and the breezes are nice.
8. Have pedicures at least every couple of weeks to change the colour of the nail polish on my toes HOT pink this week RED last week.
9. Put my hair up off my neck now that its long enough. ( woman of a certain age and all that... didn't think I'd like it longer... but I am LIKiN' it!)
10. Drive the car with all the windows down rather than using the A/C.
11. Now I am keeping the windows open cuz the A/C has died and I need to keep cool... and move sloooowwwwleee Note to self, take the down comforter off the bed...
12. Enjoying more BEvERages than normal... particularly the apricot flavoured wheat beer! very summery.
13. Scrapbooking. Every season is a scrapbooking time!

Wordless Wednesday

Waiting Game?

Rebel is flexing her somewhat weak self and trying to get herself out and about. She is finding ways of coping with her condition and stay part of the action. The new boyfriend - I have some concerns. He's 9 years older than her, and has a child with one woman and an attachment to same woman's older child by someone else. I am trusting Rebel to not allow herself into this condition. He is solicitous and seems okay. Rebel doesn't like clingy and has figured out guys who need control She doesn't like that. She does what she does. I am hoping this level of independence continues as she recovers her heart health.

I am enjoying peace and quiet around here. No tensions to speak of. My car ended up needing a whack of repairs... to the tune of $1500. sigh. So while I have refused to do the ownership switch, I would have been tempted when I got the repair estimate. Sell the damn thing and get something new! Probably still will but not as yet.

I am still not sure how to handle the separation business. Given the state of health of the one, and the mental health of the other, does it really make sense to move this forward now? I personally don't think that the Rebel needs to deal with this. Knowing how she reacts to anything of this nature, she will try and protect or help her sister. And really, she can't do this right now.

I get both sides of the picture, but really... why would a father want to push this right now? I really don't care. I guess I will play a waiting game and see how things are when the SU returns from looking for his annual blessing from his father. (it won't happen but he tries)

It's a toss up this afternoon between stripping wall paper or sitting with a book on the quarter deck before the heat and humidity go wild!

Summer Sunday

It is a beautiful day today. A perfect summer day. The liturgy at church today was especially nice. It is the 7th or is it 8th? Sunday after Pentecost today. The Sunday of our Forefathers. We had five visiting priests at the Altar today including a visiting Roman Catholic guy who was a tad lost. And the congregation seemed to have a gained a couple of extra bass singers today too. Nothing like that bass voice to add depth to all the responses. WE sing all the responses in three or four parts - in the byzantine style. It sounded extra special and full today. Must have been the fine weather that brought out the best in everyone. I gave thanks today for Rebel's small steps. "I got out of the shower today mom and I didn't have to take a rest before I got dressed." We all seemed to walk out of church humming our favourite response near the end of the liturgy - the one where the bass singers lead...

"Blessed be the name of the Lord... now and forever!"

It always sends a shiver down my spine as we sing it. Indeed! It's the small things that we come to appreciate in our lives. And it seems that Sundays such as this one are when we are reminded of these things.

In the meantime, RebelTweeny has sent me email asking to come home from down east. "please buy me an airplane ticket. It's $129 on Porter!" She's had enough of her older cousin "bossing her around". Yeah well, if your dad wants to buy the airplane ticket okay, but I am kind of enjoying the peace and quiet around here.

Today I will enjoy a Sunday the way Sunday should be enjoyed. The newspaper will go out with me on the quarter deck - yes... I've down sized it again... it's not even a half. A shot of Bailey's in my coffee and I will savour the day and count my blessings.

Hope you are all enjoying your summer Sunday and counting your blessings.

WEEKEND!

I have a chips

and dip craving.

And of course... if you have chips and dip...

it's either a soda
or a beer.


The weekend has begun!

Though I still feel .... a little twitchy and sssssslithery!

9 + 4 = 13 on Thursday.

9 words we women use.

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to give up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

Plus 4 more things I've learned about men.

1. Men are like Weather. Nothing can be done to change them
2. Men are like Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
3.Men are like Government Bonds. They take sooooooooooo long to mature
4. Men are like Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Summer breezes.

It's pretty quiet around here. Rebel went with a good friend to their cottage overnight. It was tough to let her go, but I have learned I really can't hover over her. It drives her mental. Not a good thing. However when your kid has been dealing with a near life threatening condition, it's hard to let her out of sight. But out of sight I did let her go. She was looking forward to lying on floaty on a lake for a few hours. It will give her peace and tranquility I hope.

I took myself out with a young friend of mine. We went to a new location of one of the well known Irish pubs in town. We chatted for hours. Said young friend is connected to the spousal unit's young party friend. They all run in the same Celtic fusion and dance circles. Long story short.... apparently when the SU is at the parties... he drinks til quite drunk and has on more than one occasion discussed the spousal ennuie. My young friend tells me the friends don't particularly want to hear what the SU has to say... and turn him off. Interestingly,the others do not know of my connection to this young woman... a professional one, and thus, they have been quite open in discussing and wondering how I can put up with the SU's behaviour... etc etc. It was an enlightening conversation.

I am still not ready to get back into the mediation fray with SU. Rebel has a long way to go, and frankly, any strength I had kind of drained away this last month. And more than one friend has more than once asked me... "so Marie, how are YOU doing?" Most of the time, I am okay. This evening, I found that sitting outside at a patio with a pint and food enjoying the warm summer breeze and setting sun was just the right kind of healing. I have to thank my young friend for suggesting it. And I need to do more of this over the next few weeks.


Take time to enjoy a warm summer breeze.

Wordless Wednesday

Tranquil Times.

Ah... the Spousal Unit and Rebel Tweeny have gone to visit the outlaws out east. It's quiet. No tension in the house. Rebel and I are thinking of taking in the Harry Potter movie if the boyfriend isn't keen.

RT forgot *my* camera at home. Upon arrival at the Aunt's house RT called and asked me to express post the camera to her. I half rolled my eyes, but then thought... why not. She is quite good with the thing. She takes some terrific photos so I suppose I should encourage her. I will do as she asks.

It will be interesting to see what the SU decides to tell his parents about the spousal ennuie. My sister in law and I both figured out that we would have been much better friends if he had had some kind of relationship with his family. He doesn't have much of anything to do with them, and feels some kind of deeply held resentment towards his sister. Because of it, she and I are not as close as I am to my brothers' wives.... good girlfriends - close and loyal. Said sister in law has already told me she will probably try and attempt to get my story of the marriage in as the SU attempts to paint me into what ever place he chooses. I told her that it didn't matter. He's going to say and do what he wants. I can't change that. And frankly, it really doesn't matter. She thinks her brother is an idiot. What can I say. We've become closer and talk a lot more regularly now that she is aware of the spousal ennuie issues. How weird is that?!

The next two weeks, I'll work mornings and be home in the afternoons. I can't decide if I should do some major changes ( or would it seem like creating damage) to things I don't like around here. New fridge, new stove, with money that my father has given me from the sale of his house. Paint the bedroom... ummm not purple Rudy sorry... a little to bordello-ish for me (-; a friend has offered to help so shall see. Perhaps even repaint the living room into the colour of my choosing rather than leaving it the colour the SU chose based on sales! Now purple in the living room COULD be interesting!

I expect to have a couple of tranquil weeks with both the SU and RT visiting his family. I shall enjoy every moment while it lasts. Rebel and I plan to watch a lot of movies, and perhaps even go for supper a night or two if she's up for it.

Highly Suspicious

The Spousal Unit is behaving very unusually. While I am counting down (TOMORROW NIGHT!) til he takes the RebelTween and heads east to visit my out-laws... his behavior is very un spousal-unit like!

Is it guilt or what?
I am highly suspicious.

• First of all, he is talking to me. more than grunts. Highly unusual for him to be so social.
• Second of all, he brought home a newspaper *for me.*
• Third, he cooked supper and offered me a plate. Usually he just cooks and leaves it - til I take or put away.
• Fourth, he is engaging with the Rebel Paying her cell phone bill ( $129 one, not the $310 one), taking her to rent some movies. hmmm.
• Fifth, he took all the camp linens out of the washing machine and dried them. Normally they'd be left in the washer til I remembered I'd left them there. No... his laundry was not in the washer.

Do I think it's a major thing... no... I do not. But... this pleasantness is better than his usual sullen responses and negative nastiness.
Perhaps it has something to do with energy and healing workshops I've been doing. What ever it is. I'll take it.

Friday. Finally. Sleep in on Saturday - Brunch at the Irish Pub up the street with a good friend. Anyone care to join me? It'll be before noon so it's a bloody Caesar instead of Guinness with the eggs!

13 on Thursday

Thirteen Musings or Mutterings!

1. No one should have to deal with wisdom tooth pain while at the same time dealing with water retention that makes you look pregnant…. AND taking heart medicines.
2. Did you know that a McDonald’s Crispy Chicken has almost 1500 mg of sodium? If you’re on a sodium restricted diet of 2000 mgs a day, you’ve taken up ¾’s of your sodium intake for a day on one measly chicken thingy. And let’s not even look at soda!
3. Managers who say… “your website needs revamping because …. and the technical term used was “it sucks” need to go back to basic training.
4. Spousal units who say “you didn’t tell me you called the doctor” need to get up at 7:30 AM when the phone calls are being made instead of sleeping until noon and assuming that it’s all new information. (eye rolling action)
5. A lipstick librarian is one who is atypical and understands that brains alone do not get the job done. ALL jobs are done exceedingly better handled while wearing Mac’s Russian Red.
6. The new John Twelve Hawks book, the second in the series about the Harlequins called The Dark River, is finally out on the shelves. Get off the grid….. NOW!
7. No, SU, I will not be home for dinner when the young man who hosts parties and his live in girlfriend come to dinner this evening. Thanks for asking me yesterday. I am going to a Patricia Wall workshop instead.
8. Time to paint the master bedroom while SU is out of town. My colours… MY way! Call the handy girlfriend for assistance and expert guidance.
9. Have a party with the Rebel. She needs a woo hoo time!
10 Low sodium low fat cheetos don’t taste too bad!
11. Do I really want to endure two hours *under the knife* getting a bone graft over where my front tooth should be so I can get a titanium implant and a pretty new crown instead of the Flipper tooth currently installed in my mouth?
12. Do I buy the mustang now… or at the end of summer before the next season’s cars are out?
13. Which to sip first… the Dalwhinnie or the Glenmorangie?

Wordless Wednesday.

Some Sort of Reality.

A new week. A new start... and yet... same old same old

I go away for a week, I haven't been gone 24 hours and once again... RebelTweeny strikes! Spousal Unit heads out to a Canada Day party after 10 PM. The place he usually parties... The *kids* are all late 20s and barely started into their 30s. All single All party hard. How he fits in at age 55 ... I wonder. WhatEvEr.

SU is out partying... The Rebel is at home... with the new boyfriend and RT (Rebel Tweeny) doesn't turn up til an hour and half after the fireworks end with two friends in tow. One sleeping overnight. The other... apparently waiting for his parents. Long story short. Parents don't turn up... the two girls decide to walk him half way home... forty five minutes later Rebel in a slight panic but can't really do much and finally ... they return. SU still NOT home... it's now nearly 1 AM! WHY would SU expect the barely able to walk up a flight of stairs off spring to look after the RT!

The two girls go to bed. Rebel.. has had a tough evening and couldn't sleep. 3 AM SU AKA *dad *still NOT home. Rebel not comfortable but has no one to call or talk too. GREAT! SU turns up finally at 6 AM... and you guessed it... RT and her friend...NOT in the house... again! I hope he crapped his pants the moron!! He has no idea where she is. He has no way to call anyone. Luckily she turned up shortly after he arrived. They got a call at 4:30 am on the friend's cellphone to meet some of the dumbass boys at the local Timmies and decided to leave! (THIS is why 14 yr old girls do NOT need cell phones! ) Apparently the SU aka as DAD tore strips off them. BUT once again... he doesn't report friend of RT to her mother. This is not good. And really... was there any lesson learned? Any discipline or boundaries instilled? I doubt it.

I was told not to say anything by Rebel who reported to me on the event. And really... how could I? I was far away from home. Out of my control. AND it was done! BUT it is documented. It does seem these outrageous bits of behavior seem to happen on someone else's watch. Not mine. Plus... I see the photos of a clearly inebriated SU on Facebook. (gotta love the surreptitious approach to getting evidence!)

I have a message from my She-Barracuda. Will find out what that is all about tomorrow. hmmm must have something to do with the stall in proceedings I expect.

Rebel... not doing too badly. She tires easily. Hates the water retention thing. If another person asks her if she is pregnant... she will go postal I suspect... when she isn't down in the dumps and not able to do what she is used to doing. It is hard watching her and listening to her. She doesn't like me hovering. She hates that I call her and ask when she is going to be home. It's hard allowing her to manage her own care. But... I guess I have to. And me worrying... doesn't change it. I certainly don't want to see a return of the stress since it took a week to get that under control.

Camp was good. I needed to be away. The stress melted away. Yes... cooking for nearly 40 kids and a bunch of adults... was relaxing... it really was! I slept well.. ate well... and enjoyed the companionship of friends... many of whom we only see this one time a year. I read a bunch of books, listened to music, watched a couple of movies on my secretly purchased DVD player as well as with the kids during one of our rainy movie nights.

Sunday liturgy today was lovely in the chapel under the trees. A perfect way to finish camp.

Now... it's back to some sort of reality.

The BEST Place to Be!

While the rest of the world says "Huh?"
we in Canada have much we can call our own.

To eat:
Butter tarts
Cheezies
Nanaimo bars
Poutine
Date squares - AKA Matrimonial squares
All dressed chips

To use or know:
Chesterfields - to sit on
Humidex - to give us the real heat
Gravol - to avoid airplane and sea sickness
Grow-up - will land you in jail as will being a
Found-in!
Triactor - you could win a whack of money

And the bonus lingo:
The toaster has had the biscuit
After 30 years of work, the CEO is hanging up his skates
It'll be a frosty Friday in July before the SU goes to counselling.

Only in Canada does the Rebel get a well known surgeon to deal with her heart condition without laying a cent on the table.

Happy Canada Day!

The best place - in spite of extremes in humidex and wind chill factor - to be.